Holding On

ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ

❇️Ｚａｉｎ❇️

T

he sound of glass hitting the floor and shattering is like a gunshot. I go rigid, knowing very well who is behind me. I take my time to break the kiss I'm sharing with the woman I picked from the bar downtown some minutes ago.

When I finally turn, Emma is looking at me with a series of emotions running down her face. Shock, disbelief, hurt. Nothing like the misery and anger I want to see.

“I don't... I don't get it.” She whimpers, her voice strained.

Her eyes bore into mine, searching, delving, as if by doing that she can understand my reasons. I shove my hands into my pockets, making no attempt to say anything. Perhaps if I don't bother to explain myself, she'll believe that I don't care and that will be it.

“Uh, what's going on? Who's she?” the woman I picked from the bar-Clara is it- asks, not sounding very pleased.

“Clara, that's Emma, a friend.” I make sure my voice has no inflection as if my relationship with Emma is not significant and I'm merely mentioning her to be polite.

Emma stumbles back a bit as if my words serve as a blow. I almost reach out when the glass cracks under her feet. I want to tell her to be careful, but that would mean I care, which is the last thing I want her to think about.

From the corner of my eyes, I can see Clara shifting gazes between Emma and me, her eyes narrowed.

Finally, she lets out a sound of disbelief. “Friend my pussy. Okay, I think I'm outta here. I came here to fuck, Mr. Not to be in some relationship drama.” She muses. “And the name is Ciara!”

She intentionally bumps my shoulders as she stalks off towards the elevator. It looks like she can't wait to leave because she furiously presses buttons until the elevator is on its way.

Once she is gone, I return my attention to Emma. Fuck she looks good enough to eat. She is in a strapped straight silky red dress with a deep v-cut that flares graciously around her waist, standing on red heels. She obviously did her hair for my sake.

I shake off thoughts of the way she looks and focus on her face. she doesn't look angry or hurt enough. It is time to instigate more, to unleash the second part of my plan.

“Look here Emma, you...”

“It's not gonna work.” She cuts me off.

I trail off. Unsure what she is talking about, then I nod uncertainly. “I'm glad you finally seem to agree.”

“What you're doing, it won't work. You're doing the same thing I did to you when I was scared of the way you made me feel. You knew I was coming, and you wanted me to see you with that woman. You want to be with me, yet you're pushing me away. Because you're scared.”

I didn't expect that reaction at all, and it catches me off guard, causing me to try to grasp wildly for words. When I finally regain my composure, I let out a very mirthless chuckle.

I make sure to eject every bit of emotion from my voice, from my face. “I wanna be with you, but I'm scared, huh? That must be the most ridiculous thing I've heard all week. After all this time, you're still the same conceited little bitch.”

Emma takes steps forward, shaking her head vigorously, her eyes hard with determination. “I felt something between us when we spent the weekend together I. We had something. You want to be with me, and I know it. You're just scared that I'll hurt you again.”

She's standing in front of me now, and she places her hand on my cheek. It takes everything in me not to flinch at her touch when my groin is tightening just from our proximity.

“I wouldn't leave again, Zain. These past two years were hell, even though I convinced myself that I was okay. That I didn't need you. Meeting you again made me realize I was only lying to myself. That you make my life so much better and I want to be with you.”

She advances her head to kiss me. I force myself to step away, knowing my resolve might just break if I taste her again. she whirls around, staring at me in shock.

“What did you think, Emma Taylor? That after what you did to me two years ago, I would still want to be with a woman like you?” I grit my teeth, steeling myself to deliver this act perfectly. “I got what I always wanted Em; your body. You're of no use to me anymore. I thought you'd picked up that signal during the week.”

Her eyes begin to brighten, and I know she is going to cry. I look away, unwilling to break. I have to do this. For my sake. For hers too.

“I don't believe you!” Em declares, her voice teary despite her conviction.

I want to groan. Why is she making this so fucking hard for me?

Leaning forward, making sure our faces are as close as possible without touching, I glare into her eyes. “What? Do you think you're this goddess at whose feet men will fall with just a look from you? You're nothing Emma. No, wait. Worthless, that's what you are.”

she gasps and I have to hold back a wince. I'm being a complete asshole, I know, but breaking her is the aim after all.

“No, I. Please...”

She attempts to touch me again, and I step away swiftly. “Get out Emma. As I said, I'm done with you.”

“I...”

“Fucking back off and leave, Emma.”

A tear falls down her cheek, then some more. I would be damned if I'm going to stick around to watch her cry.

Walking towards my door, I pull the knob down before tilting to look at her. “It is nice fucking you, Emma Taylor.”

With that, I enter my apartment and bang the door shut.