Holding On

ᴛʜɪʀᴛʏ-ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ

It took Emma about 5 seconds to snap out of her daze, and as the horror of what she'd just done dawned on her, her guts gnarled and twisted with contrition.

Pulling back from him, she watched his stunned expression as remorse teared through her. “I'm so sorry. I. . . I don't know why I did that. Please forgive me.”

He'd been making such a conscious effort to get over her, and all she could do was make this harder for him. Goodness, what had she been thinking?

Unwilling to face the reality of why she'd just kissed another man who wasn't her husband, Em backed away and made to leave. She had just reached the door and was about to turn the door knob in order to get out when Zain was suddenly behind her, his hand on hers, restricting her from accomplishing her mission.

She turned immediately and gasped when she collided with his hard chest. “Zain, what are you doing?”

His gaze had been set aflame by desire, and the incendiary emotion in his eyes bore into hers and seared through her with an intensity that sent her heart racing. His whole body crackled with desire, like a high voltage wire waiting to snap.

“Listen. I'm sorry, okay? I really didn't mean to make this hard for you. I don't know what came over me. I'm so sorry.”

Breathing raggedly, he reached out to cup her cheek, and his hand quavered against her flesh, making her skin tingle where it touched. Then suddenly, as if the wire had finally snapped, she saw his lips advancing, filled with the promise of a kiss.

“Zain, what are you doing?” She tilted her head, shocked by his action. Bracing her flattened hand against his taut chest, she tried to push him away, but he was like a rock.

“I can't do it anymore. I thought I could but I can't hold myself back anymore. Heaven knows how I've been able to do it all this while, but it's driving me crazy.” His voice, raspy with relish, raked through her senses and made her nerve endings tingle. “I can't forget you, Emma. You are always on my mind. My love for you is like a component of my blood. It's just difficult to tear it out of my heart. Yes, I still want you, Emma Taylor.”

For a second, her heart stopped beating as her mind absorbed all that Zain had just said, until she realized she needed to react. “There's no need to overreact, Zain. I know I messed up and shouldn't have kissed you, but that doesn't mean you suddenly want me again.” She said, almost on the verge of panic, hoping that the wave of whatever was causing him to act and say all those words would recede and he would eat back his words.

But if anything, his eyes blazed further with determination. “I'm not overreacting about anything, Em. I can't stop loving you.”

“No you can't be telling me that.” She said. This thing was so unexpected because she'd never seen it coming.

She tried to sidestep him, but he placed his hand at her side to block her movement, flattening it against the door. She tried the other side but he was quick, and she found herself trapped between the hard slab of wood and his taut, unyielding body.

“Why can't I, huh?” He whispered, face so close that she could feel his breath on her lips. “Because you'll realize that you feel the same?”

“Zain, I'm a married woman. We talked about this. I thought you'd given...” Her voice trailed off as a realization finally dawned on her that Eva had been right when she said Zain had never made any effort in the past to get over her and was still not.

God, how could she have been so blind?

“You do realize that you are making it obvious that your reasons for trying to reject me right now is because you're a committed woman. Not because you don't love me.” He said with arrogant surety. “But don't worry. No need to be tied down to him because of commitment. Divorce George and come to me.”

“I'm not with George for only the sake of commitment. I'm with him because I love him.” She tried to induce the same certainty in her tone.

“That's where you are wrong, Emma. You don't love George. You love me.”

Anger digging through her skin, she stared daggers into his eyes. “I know how I feel. Don't you treat me like a child who doesn't know what she wants until she's told.”

His lips drew even nearer, his hot breath making her shiver. “I'm not treating you like a child because I know that you know how you feel. I know you know that you love me. You're only afraid of letting that feeling take over.”

“I. Do. Not. Love. You.” She said, hoping it was condescending enough.

“Oh yeah?” He smirked, eyes basking in the relish of a challenge. “Then why did you kiss me?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but he suddenly pressed his body against hers, his erection digging into her stomach, and Emma couldn't hold back from gasping when the feel of his arousal sent a jolt down her spine. Breathing was suddenly an excruciating task, and it took her a while to gather enough composure to reply his question.

“I. . . I only did it out of impulse.”

“Out of impulse?” He threw back his head and laughed, as if this was the funniest thing he'd ever heard. The rich sound that would normally make her stomach flutter now sent dread churning through her.

Then suddenly the mirth ceased, and all that was left of his expression was raw relentlessness. “I'm sorry, but you don't have an impulse to kiss someone if you have no feelings for them.”

Closing her eyes, Emma tried to fight hard against the theory, but deep inside, she felt the first silver of uncertainty work it's way in. The sensation intensified the dreadful gnarl in her stomach.

Hysteria gave her a fill of adrenaline, and Emma nudged Zain back with her hands, then slammed them on his right hand. The hand she'd hit faltered and got thrown from the door, and taking advantage while he was off balance, she run away from him with no sense of direction, wanting to escape the vague feelings his words and closeness had stirred in her, feeling the first cry of chaos within.

He followed almost immediately, his steps adorned with thuds of determination. “Come back, Emma.”

Searching frantically for a place where he wouldn't be able to reach her, her eyes fell on the dining table. Without a second thought she ran there and circled it so that it served as a wedge between she and the man who wanted to tamper with her certainties.

“Please don't fight our love, Emma. You know you love me as much as I do you. Let's be together.”

“Stop talking like a delusional psychopath. I'm married with a daughter.” Her heart pounded against her chest so hard it hurt.

He smiled reassuringly at her, but the obstinacy in his eyes didn't dim by a bit. “Is it your daughter you are so worried about? Come on, stop worrying. I love her so much as if she were my own daughter. I'm certain I can get her to love me like her father. Just divorce George and marry me.”

He started circling the table and chairs so to get to her side, and she followed the same pattern so that the distance between them remained the same.

“We'll never be together or get married. Because I have no amorous feelings for you.” She shouted desperately, and it was alarming that she didn't feel so certain about the last part.

Looking straight into his eyes from across the table, she made sure to inject disgust in her tone and facial expression. “We were going so great on this friendship, Zain. Why did you have to destroy it?”

He sighed. Not defeatedly though. “It had to be destroyed, Emma. I had to destroy it to set the way for us to become something more.”

Eying the front door, Em saw her opportunity to escape when she and Zain had done the circling thing so that he was facing the door from across the table. Turning, she run, run so much she nearly toppled over in her heels.

When she finally reached the door and held the doorknob, she turned back one last time and found Zain standing some feet away from her making no attempt to catch her.

The last thing she heard him say before she stepped out and slammed the door made her heart squeeze painfully with fear.

“I'm not going to give up on our love, Emma.”

Thank you very much for reading! Things seem to have gotten heated with Zain promising not to give up. What do you think of the chapter.