Holding On

Fifty Three

Emma stared hard at the coffee festival invitation card which had been sent by her father and handed to her by her aunt when she'd returned from the vacation. Sighing, she finally made a decision she'd been pondering on for some time now.

Sitting up as the door to the bedroom opened, Emma watched as George returning from spending too much time in the study like he'd done last night, entered silently. He froze when he met her eyes, seemingly startled, and the guilt which she'd been sensing about him seemed to increase.

Even though his guilty demeanor had helped take her mind off her own guilt, making it more easy to bear, him withdrawing like this from her hurt, and she missed his love and comfort and silent assurances that she could share whatever was bothering her with him.

“You are still awake.” He stated as if it wasn't the most obvious thing.

“Yes. I was waiting for you.” She lied. She'd barely thought about anything apart from her newfound freedom to choose and all that it entailed. Suddenly it hit her like snow, splashing on her skin, melting and making her shiver - a realization.

In considering her own future she'd forgotten to consider George's feelings as well. He still didn't know about the lies and deceit which would have to change whether or not her heart decided that he was the one she couldn't do without. What if she realized that she wanted to be with George only for him to refuse to forgive her for her lies?

A cold shudder running through her, she smiled stiffly to meet his just as tight smile, stretching her hand out. “Come here.”

He took in a deep breath, then exhaled, as if he needed strength to face her, leaving her more perplexed. Jeez, what had he done which was getting him so worked up? Holding her hand, he sat beside her on the bed.

Looking at him as he looked anywhere but into her eyes, Emma was beginning to get worried. Yet she held herself back from asking him what was bothering him. That would mean having to tell him everything if he did open up, and she wasn't ready.

George leaving her before her heart decided it wanted him badly would be just as bad if not worse. Furthermore, there would be no more decision for her heart to make which would only mess more with her emotions. But she needed a clear head for this life-altering decision. She needed to fall on a stable, unwavering land where she could be able to trust her heart's ultimatum.

That was why she wanted to first figure who she truly loved between Zain and George before coming clean.

“Can I ask you a favour?”

“I need to tell you something.”

They both said all at once. Emma hesitated before saying. “You go first.”

“No you go first.”

“Okay,” She begun hesitantly. “It's about my father, George. About the invitation for the coffee festival he sent me. I've decided to accept it. I need you to please get me a flight that'll be leaving tomorrow for California.”

“But of course, I'll do it. You know you can always count on me, and there's even no need to ask. I really do love you and...” He sighed frustratedly. “Forget it. I'll get you one, certainly. Do you want me to go with you?”

“Thank you. And no George. I can't have you neglecting your company any longer for me.” She pulled close and kissed him, feeling him stiffen. “Uhm, you wanted to tell me something?”

“Oh, it's really... I'll tell you when you return from your trip.” He stood up evasively. “I think I'll go shower now.”

As he begun to walk off, Emma thought back to the episode at the cabin today, the fear and hope in Zain's eyes. George was a good man, but she wanted to be honest to herself when making this decision. That is why she wanted to go on this trip. Hopefully, a day or two away from the two of them would make things easier to decide.