HEEJAKE • HAVING YOU NEAR ME

viii

But you’ve open your heart to me

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The room smelled sex as heated and sinful noises echoed on the four corners of the room. The bed becomes a mess with the blanket crumpled underneath two heated bodies, stained with creamy liquids the boys were releasing every climax. Their sweats damping the mattress with some blood staining the once white fabric.

Two boys lost in lust.

Jake’s bravery to say whatever it was he was about to tell the older boy earlier vanished as soon as Heeseung’s hand wrapped around his naked body, licking his bare shoulder that sent shiver all over his body.

And it ended up to the current situation, for who knows how long they were pounding each other. Jake screaming the older boy’s name, moaning melodically as he melts underneath Heeseung’s rough touch filled with hunger and lust.

He forgot about the words he has to say, he forgot that he was supposed to end whatever was between him and Heeseung. Probably lust, because that’s all between them. The same lust made him forget that he was going to get rid of it. He’s going to avoid the lust that made him happy.

After a whole five minutes of silence while trying to get their breathing back to normal and gathering all their remaining energy to continue going on, Jake moved first. He crawled on top of the older boy and locked eyes with Heeseung.

A sly smirk made its way into Heeseung’s lips as he stared back at Jake’s eyes burning with lust. He was quite amused that Jake made a first move.

“Drunk, are you?” Heeseung commented as one of his hand secure Jake on top of him and the other went to play with the younger boy’s hair. “You should drink every time you’re coming over. I like how your body responded,” Heeseung said, smiling even wider.

Jake never had lust flashing in his innocent eyes, he was behaving really well which Heeseung sometimes hate. He doesn’t like how Jake never complained how long they were taking when doing sex, he just waits patiently. All Jake ever did was ask for kisses.

He was very submissive, but not for tonight, though.

Jake initiated the kiss. Jake was atop of him playing with his lips, tongue tracing the older boy’s jaw. Heeseung kept watching in amusement, looking forward to his next move.

A soft, muffled moan left Heeseung’s mouth when Jake’s lips got in contact with his neck. His tongue started licking on the sensitive spot, liking how Heeseung’s breath hitched as he tried to control the sound leaving his lips. Jake started sucking the skin up, making sure to leave purple marks on it.

He enjoyed the melodic sound that left Heeseung’s lips as he started littering his neck with kiss marks, dominating the older boy.

After having enough of the sound, Jake looked up and locked eyes with Heeseung. Lust swimming in both of their eyes. They stared at each other for who knows how long, they’ve lost track of time the moment their lips started brushing against each other earlier that night.

Silence ate the room, surrounding the two boys in the middle of their little staring contest, both naked and covered with their own sweats, cum and some blood.

“What is it that you want to say?” Heeseung said, breaking the silence.

He used the chance to push Jake off of him before placing himself on top of the younger boy, his lips immediately getting in touch with Jake’s swollen lips. He kissed the younger boy lightly, still waiting for a response.

Once he pulled away, he saw how Jake’s eyes fluttered close as few tears escaped. Heeseung’s hand ran across the younger boy’s cheek, wiping away the hot liquid before he dives in for another soft kiss.

“Does it hurt?” Heeseung asked in between their kiss, his tongue barely brushing on Jake’s lips after.

Jake wanted to answer but the voice was trapped inside his mouth. He just wanted to be kissed, to be touched. To be happy.

He wanted to voice out how painful it was, those wild nights he shared with Heeseung. Teeth digging deeply on his skin, those cuts Heeseung has left on his lips, on his chest and on his stomach. Heeseung’s tight grip on his thighs with his nails digging deeply. His bottom stinging every time. It was awfully painful.

He hated how his body is covered with painful and colorful marks, stained with blood and hand prints. He hated the taste of iron in his mouth, the cuts on his lips and he very much hated how painful it gets down on his ass. He hated the fact that Heeseung is abusing him.

But something made Jake stay.

Despite the pain, Jake found it heaven. Feeling Heeseung’s lips against his lips, his skin, against all over him. He loved how warm it felt being underneath the older boy. It may be all for lust but Jake treasure the soft kisses they have shared, the soft touch before everything turns rough and the sweet nothings Heeseung is whispering in his ears occasionally.

He was happy spending time with Heeseung like that. It may not be called making love but at least they had sex and that’s all Jake needed to be contented. At least it was him who Heeseung needs every time he’s drunk. At least, Jake thought it was only him.

He couldn’t just end things with Heeseung, not when he feels painfully happy having sex with the older boy.

“Hyung, I…” Jake voiced out, almost like a moan as Heeseung’s wet lips started tracing soft kisses don on his chest.

Heeseung didn’t stop and only hum in response to Jake, permitting him to continue his sentence.

Another tear left Jake’s eyes. He opened his mouth again, a soft moan leaving his lips as he did so, before a set of words were finally uttered.

“I love you.”