HEEJAKE • HAVING YOU NEAR ME

xv

It’s not a role I usually play

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A subtle smile left Jake’s lips as he punched in the last two digits of Heeseung’s passcode. Soon after, the door unlocked. He pushed the door open, expecting a surprise.

It’s his 27th birthday, after all.

Heeseung didn’t even greeted him on text, nor call. The older boy didn’t even come to Jake’s small birthday party earlier that day. Jake almost lose all the hopes he had thinking that Heeseung forgot about this special occasion. Until his phone vibrated signaling a call coming from Heeseung. The older boy wanted Jake to come over, maybe because there’s a surprise.

A surprise.

Jake found the older on his usual spot, holding a cigarette in one hand and a glass of beer on the other.

“Wow, you came,” Heeseung commented upon seeing him, his tone sarcastic and as if mocking Jake.

“Of course I came,” Jake’s eyes squinted, still not really accustomed to this side of Heeseung. He’s still disappointed that he didn’t even prepare anything for his birthday. “We’re friends, aren’t we?” Jake added.

“Friends, right,” Heeseung repeated before motioning for Jake to come over.

Jake removed his shoes and walked towards Heeseung, sitting on the floor across the older.

“Why didn’t you come?” Jake asked.

Heeseung avoided eye contact and looked down, “I followed someone all day long.”

“Sunoo?” Jake guessed and the exasperated sigh left Heeseung’s lips confirmed he was right. Of course, who else would Heeseung follow all day long? None other than his best friend whom he fell in love with, Sunoo.

“What happened?” Jake asked faking his curiosity.

Heeseung looked up, meeting Jake’s eyes before sipping from the glass of beer in his hands. Then he shrugged signaling he doesn’t want to talk about it.

“How’s your day?” Heeseung asked but he doesn’t look like he’s interested at all.

The younger boy only smiled even though aware that Heeseung don’t care about how his day went and just wanted something to talk about. Jake still answered the question whole-heartedly.

He started from when Sunghoon jumped on his bed holding a half-eaten cake and a birthday hat like a seven-year-old kid waking up Jake. They argue about the cake but still walk together from their building to their workplace. The restaurant had closed early for Jake’s small birthday party arranged by his parents.

Sunghoon also invited some of their friends from high school and college, their former co-teachers including Ni-ki who avoided Sunghoon the whole time and left early because he has a date. Jake received a lot of heart-warming messages, flowers and gifts especially from his parents and some close friends.

Of course, the highlight of his party. Sunghoon being his annoying best friend invited his two exes from college. Jake suffered from a lot of teasing and embarrassment for two hours straight. Luckily for him, his older brother finally arrived and saved him.

A small smile graze Heeseung’s lips after Jake stopped talking to catch his breath. “You seem very happy,” He commented.

Jake rolled his eyes as his lips formed a small pout. “I would’ve been happier if you came. I was wondering if you forgot…” A hint of disappointment lingered in his voice.

Heeseung shrugged. “Why would I remember?” 

Jake’s eyes widen a bit, taken aback. His chest tightened, suffocating his heart inside as he bit on his lower lip to refrain the tears from appearing into his eyes.

“Because we’re friends? At least...” Jake reasoned out.

Heeseung sighed, repeating the word friends twice before nodding his head.

Just as then, Heeseung’s phone vibrated on the table. The screen lit up as a calendar appeared and today’s date was encircled. Heeseung was quick to turn the screen off before Jake can even read the message appearing on the screen.

“I’m tired of the word friends,” Heeseung interrupted the silence, picking up the phone and throwing it somewhere on the couch, away from Jake’s eyes.

“Do you know how much I despise that word? If Jungwon isn’t dating the boss, I could’ve already kicked him off the office after telling everyone we’re friends,” Heeseung continued as he pours the beer on the bottle to his empty glass.

“The only person I allowed to by my friend is Sunoo, only him,” Heeseung said before gulping down the beer on his glass.

Jake couldn’t hold back his tears anymore. He put his hands over his face, covering his tearful eyes as his muffled sobs breaks the silence.

Heeseung looked back to the crying boy, letting his emotions fill his eyes as well, knowing that Jake won’t be able to see it.

The device on the couch vibrated again from the same alarm.

My Jake’s Special Day.

Heeseung let a single tear escape from his eyes, staining his cheek.

My.