HEEJAKE • HAVING YOU NEAR ME

grand finale

"I'm sorry..."

"Can I be honest with you?" Jake asked, eyes avoiding Sunghoon. "That night...as much as I stop myself from thinking about it...Sunghoon I-"

"Please," Sunghoon said, guiltily. "I was drunk and I was not in the right mind to think of my actions. It was not a valid reason, but it's not my intention to make you feel used. Please, Jake, stop avoiding me."

Jake let a faint smile across his lips but still didn't looked up to meet Sunghoon's pleading eyes.

"I was sleepless and my mind would always replay what happened," Jake continued. "Even when I'm with Heeseung, I still see it clear in my mind."

"I'm really sorry..."

"Why though?" Jake asked, finally meeting Sunghoon's eyes. "I didn't say I didn't like it."

Sunghoon looked surprise at the sudden confession.

"And that's why I'm avoiding you, Hoon, because I liked it too much it keeps messing with my feelings. I thought I was sure with Heeseung but now I'm having doubts, only because of that night."

+++

Sunghoon opened his eyes when he felt the space beside him empty...again.

"Jake?"

He quickly sat up and looked around the empty bedroom of his. The door opened and Jake finally came to sight, now fully dressed as if he isn't in his after-sex just a few hours ago.

"You're leaving again?"

Somehow, this set-up started after they reconciled. This was wrong, Sunghoon knew that, but it's not like he didn't try to talk things with Jake. The latter was the one insisting with this and Sunghoon...he was following the flow of everything hoping it will also clear his messed up feelings.

He still cries over his heartbreak with Ni-ki but every time Jake appears, he heals.

He only hope Jake didn't feel used- because that's one thing Sunghoon would never do to his best friend.

"Heeseung called," Jake shrugged. "Although he said it's fine to stay here, I should go back."

"When are you going to tell him?"

Jake smiled up at him, "Soon, Sunghoon."

Jake gave him a little kiss on the cheek before he walked out the room, leaving Sunghoon all to himself again.

He sighed, the best friend he treasured for years now gives him kisses. Maybe Ni-ki was right and he likes Jake, he was just blinded by the label friendship between them.

Ni-ki...

Sunghoon ached upon remembering the name. Ni-ki was his first love and he still believes that he loves Ni-ki up to this moment.

+++

"Tell me your honest feelings, that matters most to me than Ni-ki."

"Can I kiss you?"

Before Sunghoon could response, his lips met Jake already. It was a plain kiss and Sunghoon didn't want to continue further so he pulled away.

Jake bites on his lower lip before looking away.

"If you love Ni-ki more than me, it's fine. I have Heeseung-hyung."

"You know how it feels to be used, you shouldn't do that to people," Sunghoon said. "After everything that we did together, do you think I would allow you to ruin yourself again?"