Between the Ice [h.s]

04 || Spinning & Shining

-Eulalia-

Today is a special day. An important day for me. I am supposed to figure out if I'm allowed to compete in regionals. Later on, I will be performing every skill, turn, and edge I have learned in the past months. It's called the "Senior" level test. This is a common thing to do to have people understand you are working hard to get into regionals.

Most people pass the test and when said people don't they won't be able to follow through with competing in regionals. This isn't just to show off skills that you've learned over the past week but it also shows the confidence and power you have over yourself and that you are ready to compete against other talented people.

It is now the weekend. I have been practicing my ass off this whole week. When I was with Louis it was very helpful to escape my life and I was able to finally walk around without stressing over a "simple" test, but for some reason I was still wishing, dying to be on the ice at that moment.
Louis and I talked for a while at the coffee shop. We ended up parting our ways because he got called into the office. I was sad to leave him, but I was practically dancing in my pants to rush home and get dressed in my skating clothes. And he could tell I was edging him to go to work.
By the time I reached the ice arena, I was warming up with my regular teammates and skating beside them, going through my routine that is for today.

It was refreshing to see Louis. In the time that I'm able to talk with him I will always hold on, but he realizes how much I love being on the ice as much as I love catching up with him even if it's for a minimum time.

To know he's the same way with his daily job, going there and searching for something new. Letting me know about someone that could attentionally be my next victim of killing for the night. Louis knows it's off-limits to give me someone to kill right before a test or a practice competition, that was a set rule for him and he respects it and I do appreciate that very much.

Louis has always wanted to come to see me on the ice but whenever he gets the chance it's taken away from him and he is immediately apologizing for his work schedule. I can't blame him, it's upsetting that someone you hold such a tight connection with can't see you do something you love. But in the end, maybe him being there overall would make me more nervous than I would want to be. I would never tell this to his face but I know Louis would understand what I'm saying and that makes me relax 'cause he is so understanding.

Waking up on a test day, I pledge to be extra early. It helps me relax hours early. No, I don't watch the other skaters who are performing the same day because I do, I would immediately compare me and them. It's very toxic of me, especially on such a special occasion, but it's like an instinct of mine that I haven't been able to control yet. On any other day, I'm completely fine, I could watch the skaters at the ice arena and pick out all the beautiful things they make, but when it is this type of day, it's the only thing I can think about, so I distract myself.

Getting to the arena I'm greeting everyone, trying to be polite to the people I know as much as possible. I hang out in the locker room for a while, listening to my music until I'm reaching for my father, who is showing his respects to everyone here. My father knows these types of days get me worked up in a good way, but if things end up bad it's like he has a snap inside him and he's fixing it all up in a second. It's helpful for sure, but I just wish I could do it myself, without him being there by my side.

"You OK, Rue?" I take out my headphones, shut my music off, and twirl the cords around my phone. I'm setting my phone down and looking at my father, who can tell I'm more focused than I usually am.

"All good!" I smile, rubbing my hands down the base of my thighs. The cold of my fingertips reaches through the skin on my thin leotard that I will be performing in for my performance.