love game; ℓ.н/ ρ.נ

chapter 20, stay away from her

Heeseung's pov

I stared at the cigarette in my hand.

I rolled it in between my fingers and lit it up, putting it in between my lips. It gave me comfort. The only thing in the world that made me forget about my miserable life was causing harm; either to people or to myself. Weak people didn't deserve to take in all the pain of this world. So why not cause them more, because they're suffering already? Logically speaking, it does not make sense. But so does my life.

So much for decency for being the son of the principal.

That term was just annoyingly overused and overhyped by everyone. I was just a normal kid going to school, trying to survive the depressing life that I'm living and using abuse as a coping mechanism. My life makes so much sense.

I stared at the wall of my room where the mirror was supposed to be hanging, but only little pieces of glass turned, threatening to fall down. In hindsight, it was always my dad that was the reason for the destruction of my room. Once, I broke the window into a million pieces when I was fourteen because my dad wouldn't accept the girl I had a crush on. I was eccentric and weak then, so I gave up quickly on her, fearing my defiant father.

But the nominal opinions of my dad were the least of my concerns. I turned so presumptuous, that it worried me. I was not going to give up that quickly this time.

I ruffled my damp hair, discarding the emotional thoughts from my head.

Emotions equal weakness.

I grabbed a can of Red Bull on my way out of my room and decided to get outside in the assailing cold weather for some time. The cold winds blew the curtains of the darkened house. Oh, how I loved this weather.

I passed the living room, where my indomitable parents sat, talking seriously about something that was the least of my concerns.

"Heeseung," my dad called out as I walked in front of them.

"Ugh," I mumbled and walked in reverse, now standing in front of them.

"Your grades are dropping fleetingly," he said curtly. "I would like you to explain this, especially since you can make or break my reputation in the school. And with that girl, Jia getting on my nerves with her grades, you need to pick up with yours like before and claim the first rank"

"If you don't get that rank back," he continued, without waiting for me to explain, "I'll have to expel that girl"

"I still have the second rank in my class," I shrugged. "It's good enough for me"

"It's not good enough for me"

It got my anger meter ticking.

"Your father has been facing so many taunts because of your grades," mom put forth.

"Who cares about others? I'm still better than the rest in my class. Jia just happens to be more diligent than me. I can't be her"

"You can be better than her"

"I don't want to"

Both of them sighed in annoyance. Even if I hated her for what she said the other day, I still defended her, God knows why. And I don't even know why I let her be better than me; usually, I couldn't handle anyone being ahead of me.

"You are my son," dad said. "And I happen to be the principal at the school you go to. So you have to live up to the expectations that people have"

"People," I articulated, "have expectations of you too. You have to be a father who supports his kid no matter what, and who does not judge him for his weaknesses"

"Tell me, dad," I asked, "are you that father?"

With that, I walked out of the house, into the cold.

The streets were mostly empty. The fog hung low on the grounds, and the flowers withered with heavy dew drops. I walked with my hands in my pockets, and I mentally patted myself on the back for not bringing a jacket along with me.

I decided to get coffee and then head to Jungwon's place to let my heart out to him. That boy was my vent place.

I pushed open the door of the familiar Starbucks and found it filled with the chatter of people. I walked to the counter where the waitress was busy taking orders.

I told her my usual order, a plain black coffee with no sugar.

While I waited for my order, another customer came and stood beside me, but I was too preoccupied with my thoughts to notice her, and I did so only when she spoke to give her order.

"One vanilla latte please," Jia said. She was wearing a white shirt that stopped right above her stomach, and a pair of black cargo pants that looked unavoidably good on her. Her short hair fell on her face as if she trying not to look at me. Her voice turned my stomach upside down, which I hated.

"Mr. Heeseung?" the waitress called out, handing me my coffee.

I turned around and proceeded to leave, as I felt Jia staring at my back.

I smirked. I was going to love staying away from her and watching her crave my attention. 

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merry Christmas my loves <3