Love Without Uncertainty | JB | a.u | BWWM

Twenty Nine.

I'd fallen asleep on the couch after speaking with Ms Jones on the phone. My mind was all over the place today and what I really wanted to do was to distract myself.

I got hold of Catherine's cleaning supplies and got to cleaning. I could tell that she was worried about me but she was in no position to say anything.

"Miss Banks? I don't mean to be rude or anything but I don't think Mr Bieber will be pleased to find you cleaning when he gets back." Catherine said to me.

I looked at her as I wiped down the coffee table.

"I know he won't, Catherine, but I promised him I'd be okay while he's out and this is me keeping my promise. I need to keep busy and I can't go back to the home." I said.

"The home? Where Mrs Harrison works?"

I nodded.

"Oh." Catherine said. "If you don't mind me saying, Miss Banks, you're a pretty strong woman. You'll get through this, whatever it is."

"Justin didn't tell you?" I furrowed my eyebrows, stopping what I was doing.

Catherine shook her head.

"Mr Bieber doesn't tell me anything unless it concerns me." She smiled sadly.

I knew that Catherine had genuine concern for Justin, even though he probably only saw her as a maid. She cared.

"Oh." I said. "Well... I uh... recently found out I was pregnant. I lost it. Apparently can't have any kids because... of the toll my past had on my physical being." I put on a brave smile.

Catherine said nothing for a moment.

"I know." I chuckled. "I was also shocked."

"I'm sorry, Miss Banks."

"It's okay, I guess. I hope you don't feel like I'm taking over your job. I just really need to keep busy."

"It's not a problem at all." Catherine said. "I'll make you some coffee while you're at it."

"Thank you." I smiled.

Catherine nodded and went to make my coffee.

"I've worked at that home for a while now and Pattie did tell me once how all those kids got there but it totally slipped my mind..." I shook my head and chuckled lightly. "I guess I forgot it all when I saw that baby and anger washed over me; bitterness..."

"People have many reasons for giving up their children, Miss Banks. Some of them are selfish reasons and others are just desperate."

"How desperate could one be, Catherine? A new born baby was dropped off in this cold at the door of the home. Anyone could've accidentally stepped on it or it could've died from the cold. The least the mother could've done was knock."

"It's not our place to judge, Miss Banks. Sometimes it's hard for the mother to give her child up but she really needs to."

"Why? Are these women aware that some of us will never have the blessing of carrying a baby in our wombs?"

"Miss Banks, my mother gave my sister up for adoption when she was a baby. My mother was raped and my sister was the product and my mother just couldn't live with the idea of raising a child that would constantly remind her of what happened. My mother struggled to heal from the experience so it was obvious that she was in no position to raise a child, let alone the child that came from that ordeal."

I frowned.

I should've watched what I said.

"O-Oh. What happened to them after that?"