In The Bird Song | TWD

chapter 4 - dead cant keep living

Pov Harlow

In the last 2 weeks since I became a member of the group nothing much has happened. I've spent most of my time in the company of carl, he started to come up my watchtower which he nicknamed my nest not only because of my fondness for birds but because I started to accumulate small things up there.

For example, the group gave me a blanket from one of the spare cells that I ended up using as a curtain for the inside bit of the watchtower to cover up the window, if I want privacy. I would have used it as a blanket as it was intended to be if the material wasn't so rough and grainy because my sensory issues can't stand the texture of it.

I spend most of my time on the balcony of the watchtower because I choose to sleep there instead of inside. I also try keep flowers in an empty glass I turned into a makeshift vase in an attempt to make the tower more of a home.

I've also started collecting rocks again which was a habit I picked up when I was a young child and it stuck with me. My favourite rock is a dark grey one I found with loads of cracks in it as well as sporadic white spots along its surface, I like it because to me it looks like the stone version of an old man, complete with two dents that look like eyes and a crack that could be mouth.

I've subconsciously convinced myself that the Oldman rock is lucky and full of wisdom so I've taken to carrying it with me everywhere I go in my pockets. I've named him oldy.

When carl first started coming to my "nest" he didn't say much if anything at all instead just choosing to sit next to me. Eventually we started to have conversations and about a week in we couldn't stop talking about everything and nothing, I would even go so far as to call him a friend of sorts.

He told me about the groups time at the CDC and the farm but not in great detail. I told him bits and pieces of my childhood in the foster care system with Enola but not too much.

Today me and carl are sitting in the watchtower watching the sun rise because I finally convinced him it was worth waking up early to see. He looks over to me and asks "do you watch the sunrise every morning" and I nod my head to answer he chuckles and questions "why would you do that it's so early"

I reply "I mostly do it so I can listen to the birds waking up if I'm honest" carl rolls his eyes in mock exasperation sighing "what's with you and birds why do you like them so much?"

I pause before answering because I've never told anyone what I'm about to tell carl, mostly because it never came up. I decide it would be nice to tell someone so I reply "growing up me and Enola both loved birds, I don't know what started the obsession we had but we were both hooked on them. the day Enola killed herself I was getting ready to go to school, she still hadn't gone back to school after the assault, and just before I left Enola stopped me and asked..." I pause for a minute thinking back to the last conversation I ever had with my sister.

(flashback)

"Harlow, if reincarnation is real when you die what will you come back as." I look at Enola before answering "I haven't really thought about it" she looks at me for a long minute before saying "when I die, I'm going to come back as a bird. That way if you ever want need me you will be able to find me in the birdsong.

I frown and look over to Enola taken aback by the sadness in her voice I smile and try cheer her up when I say in mock indignation, "hey who says you're going to die first." Enola just looks at me before giving me a sad smile and saying "I don't know I just have a feeling I will." before I can respond Mrs berry is shouting me down to get in the car so I only have time to give Enola a hug goodbye and say I quick "love you" before I leave.

(End of flashback)

"And so that's the last thing my sister ever said to me. I didn't no at the time that was our last conversation but she must have. I was so stupid I should have realised she was trying to say goodbye, maybe if I had she wouldn't be dead" I'm crying now as I continue to say "now whenever I hear the birds it's like she's talking to me. Fuck I miss her so much" I'm sobbing too hard to speak now and carl is teary eyed.