In The Bird Song | TWD

chapter 12 - teenagers

Harlow Pov

Its early morning and me Michonne and carl are going on a supply run to the local houses down the street. Carl had a rough morning, apparently him and his dad found Judith's bloody car seat while fleeing the prison. However, this morning carl for a moment forgot Judith wasn't here anymore and brought her up in conversation before going quit and he has been a little subdued since.

We left rick back at the house because he was (according to carl) unconscious yesterday and needs to rest. We get to the street we are going to search and we all decide to take a separate house each to search. I start in the living room looking under the couch cushions and in drawers but I don't find anything useful. There's a rag doll lying on the ground its well-worn and tattered and seems to have been lovingly stitched up many times its clear somebody really loved that doll.

The sight of it saddens me the poor child who owned it must have missed their toy. I turn to leave the room but I can't do it I simply won't leave the doll to lie here collecting dust when it was so clearly loved and important to someone. I pick the rag doll up and slip it into my bag maybe I'll find a child one day who could love it like it was supposed to be.

I search the kitchen and downstair bathroom but the only thing of use I find is dental floss which Hershel suggested earlier might be able to be used to stich wounds if there's no alternative. After completing my downstair search I ascend the stairs of the house and enter the first room on the top floor. I find myself standing in a nursery filled with toys and family pictures, I do my best not to look at the photos however lest I feel guilty about raiding someone's home.

There's nothing of use in the nursery so I move on to the next room which seems to have belonged to the adults of the house. I find a pistol with a couple bullets stashed in the closet I put the gun in the empty holster I have because I lost my last gun in the prison attack.

I walk into the last room, it's clearly a teenage girls room it has posters covering the walls and there's what appears to be homework spread out on the desk as though it was just yesterday when the world was normal.

The bed isn't made and there's cloths scattered on the floor the place looks perfectly lived in or it would if it wasn't for the thick layer of dust coating everything. I feel a sudden sadness close in on me and wrap me in its grip so tight I can't move; this is the life I dreamed off after I got sent to prison. This is something I never thought I would have after I was locked up and had to say goodbye to any chance of being a teenager and having a life.

It hurts because overtime I forgot things could be so normal, I stopped dreaming of freedom and friends because I couldn't let myself grieve the life I gave up. But now I'm free and things are not any better I still won't ever have this life. Standing in this room is like looking into a mirror of what my life could have been if Enola was still here and the world didn't end.

I wonder if it truly would have been better or would tragedy come destroy the imaginary life I could have had as well. maybe tragedy was always on the cards for me even if the world didn't end and that monster never touched my sister. I suppose it doesn't matter I will never know what life would have been so maybe for my own sanity I can convince myself it would have been peaceful and I would be happy.

***

Carl Pov

Me and Michonne are waiting in the street for Harlow to come out of the house she was searching but it's been 20 minutes and she's still not finished "I'll go check what she's doing you wait out here with the stuff" I say to Michonne and she nods so I drop my bag and go into the house.

I find Harlow sitting in a teenage girl's room clearly lost in thought staring at an empty wall "hey Harlow you ready to go?" I ask but Harlow doesn't answer my question instead asking "what do you think it was like?" confused I sit on the floor next to her and say "what was what like?" she looks at me and elaborates "being a teenager before all this"