In The Bird Song | TWD

chapter 29 - screams carry in the wind

Harlow pov

I wake up to someone banging on my door shouting "HUNTERS MUST BE OUT IN 30 MIN OR LESS!" I must have been crying in my sleep because my face is wet with tears and I can taste salt on my lips. My chest aches and despite the fact I have been awake less than a minute I burst into a fresh wave of tears and bury my face into posy's fur.

Even though I've slept nearly 24 hours I don't feel at all refreshed, instead I feel worn out and like my whole body is being weighed down by an overwhelming sense of despair.

I dig my nails into my palms until I draw blood causing posy to whine in distress as she tries to clean the blood up with her tongue. Annette is still fast asleep on my chest but I know she must be starving. I need to make money today but getting out of bed currently seems to be the equivalent of jumping off a cliff.

I don't understand what's wrong with me and why facing another day is suddenly the last thing I want to do. 'You're not weak' I tell myself in an attempt to pull myself together but it's no use and I worry I've used up all the strength I have. Sadness and hopelessness have ravaged my body while I slept leaving me in tatters.

Perhaps this is how my sister felt the day she died, I wonder if she planned to kill herself or if she just woke up one day and couldn't do it anymore. But I don't have the privilege of being able to give up. I have posy and Annette depending on me and I cannot let them die so I will just need to fight every instinct I have and get up. I need to battle through the pain and go about my day lie everything is fine just is I have been for the last three months.

I heave myself up breaking into a fresh wave of sobs as I do so, I stumble over to the carrier wrap and secure Annette into it before I hit myself with all the force I can muster in order to snap myself out of crying. I aggressively wipe the tears from my cheeks and shake all the sleep out of my body.

I throw my door open before I can change my mind and force myself to step out into the real world. I drag myself over to the first person I see and ask where the weapons room is and they thankfully give me the directions I need. I check out my bow and arrows and ask the army member guarding the room where I can find miss black.

The old lady turns out to live on the fourth floor where I am forbidden to go so the army man uses his walkie to tell someone to bring Mrs black down.

The lady takes her sweet time getting downstairs and once she arrives I'm terrified to hand Annette over to her, however eventually I give in because the women has a warm smile and reminds me of the kind grandmas that bake the main character cookies in the kids movies I used to watch.

Mrs black tells me I need to go to the gates at the back of the compound where a guard will see my bow and let me out. when I finally step out the gates and into the surrounding woods I put as much distance as I reasonably can between me and unit.

Eventually I stop in a forest clearing to catch my breath and I am stunned by the peace around me. I can hear birds chirping for the first time in forever and it is so unlike anything I have experienced in the last few months that it brings tears to my eyes.

The beauty of the outside makes the unit seem so much worse and all I can think about is the horror I have briefly left behind. I think of the constant starvation, the screaming women at night, the child that died in my arms, the death that litters the floors, the screams of agony I've heard from people who have just lost a loved one, and the cries of the boy whilst I beat him up for stealing my payment. In my mind I see the hollow look in parents eyes after they lost their son or daughter. I see emaciated bodies and corpses everywhere and the hunted expressions on orphaned children. I smell burning corpses and the smoke that lingers on my clothes after a day of work. I smell the latrines and decay as well as the unwashed bodies, sick, and sweat.