In The Bird Song | TWD

chapter 30 - scared of the dark

Harlow pov

Things have been better since I moved in with Eliza and her daughter. It took a couple days after meeting Eliza for me to stop feeling so fragile and weepy but for the first time in what may as well have been a lifetime I did not feel so alone.

It has only been a week and a half since I moved in with the little family but we have already settled into a routine. Every morning me and Eliza split up to hunt and depending on the game that day we could return to the unit anywhere from midday to sunset. If it wasn't for Izzy, I wouldn't return to the unit a second earlier than I absolutely have to since Annette is only a baby and seems to enjoy Mrs black doting on her.

However, the thought of Izzy being locked in a room by herself until nightfall every day is enough to drive me back to our little dorm room as soon as I have shot enough game.

Though I would never say it out loud I know I am a better hunter than Eliza proven by the fact I usually finish my hunt hours earlier than she does. This means I spend a lot of the day alone with Izzy Annette and posy and no matter how tired I am I always agree to play with Izzy because I just cannot say no to her puppy dog eyes.

Because Izzy does not have any toys, she must rely on her imagination alone to entertain herself but luckily for her she has no problem conjuring up wild adventures in her head.

Everyday Izzy transforms the small dorm room into a different location entirely. Since I have met her we have sailed the seven seas, travelled to space, climbed mount Everest, thought a dragon and befriended a unicorn (the unicorn and dragon both being posy).

Despite how content Izzy seemed to be living in her made up worlds I still felt bad that the little girl had no toys of her own so even though a part of me did not want to let it go, I gifted her the tatty rag doll that is the last piece of my time with carl. It hurt to let the doll go however it also felt liberating like I got rid of the anchor that was preventing me from moving on with my life.

I cried into posy's fur the night I gave the doll up because despite it being healthy it turns out moving on from the prople I love hurt like motherfucking bitch. however everything was made worth it when I witnessed how happy the stuffed toy made Izzy.

I remember her proudly presenting the toy to her mum and how she blabbered on all night about how we didn't need to worry about her anymore because dolly was her new best friend and will keep her company whilst we were away. Eliza started to cry tears of joy at their daughter's excitement and she thanked me over and over again for giving her daughter something that made her so happy.

Right now the small dorm room is the picture of domestically, Annette is crawling around the room as quickly as she can whilst Izzy chases after her and every time Izzy catches Annette, she spins her in the air and the room is filled with the baby's happy giggling.

Eliza is in the corner of the room in her under garments as she is currently washing herself and her clothes in a bucket water. She offered to wash my clothes and get me a bucket to clean myself with but I quickly declined her offer and I think she must have sensed the panic in my voice because she didn't push me on the matter.

I know I smell and look disgusting but I cannot bring myself to wash, no matter how many times I tell myself I'm safe here and nobody is going to hurt me I can't shake my fear of being raped and the dirt coating my body significantly decreases the chances of that happening. The filth has become my armour against the world and the thought of not having it makes me feel physically ill.

Eliza calls posy over to her and I watch as the black dog lazily gets up from beside me and trots over to the women. I don't need to wonder why Eliza called posy over for long because as soon as the dog is within arm's reach Eliza grabs posy's collar and starts washing her matted black fur with the leftover water.