In The Bird Song | TWD

chapter 39 - fly away

TW: descriptions of intense grief and graphic depictions of a decomposing body.

Harlow pov –

Just as Izzy's breathing evens out and her face relaxes I hear the front door close and the sound of somebody entering the house. I give Izzy a quick kiss on the head before quietly creeping out the door followed by the soft patter of claws on wood as posy trails behind me.

We both make our way down the stair to investigate who is in the house and much to my relief it turns out to only be Michonne. I watch with mild curiosity as she sets a couple bottles onto the counter her face lined with worry and her fingers tapping rhythmically against the marble surface.

"How is Annette? Did you check on her?" I ask from the doorway causing Michonne to jump in surprise. "Yeah, I did but reg is still fixing her up so I couldn't see her." Michonne says and I nod shooing away the uneasy feeling in my stomachs pit. I tentatively reach down and run my hand through posy's fur in order to ground myself before nodding my head towards the bottles and asking "what are those?"

"Oh, um I went to that woman's house, the one with the dogs I mean, and I picked up pet friendly shampoo as well as flea treatment for your dog. I ran into rick on the way and told him to tell the others that you are here and that they should steer clear of the house for a while to give you some space. The entire group doesn't live here only half of us do but the others live in the house next door and we all tend to congregate here for dinner and stuff. It's nice to have everyone together none of us are quit used to not being together all the time." Michonne explains and I hum in acknowledgement before adding "I saw a baby's tooth brush in the bathroom you know, does that mean Judith is alive to?"

"Yeah! she's okay as well, Tyreese and carol grabbed her when the prison fell so the blood on her carrier that rick and carl saw mustn't have been hers."

I smile softly and tell her "I'm glad, it will be nice for Annette to have a friend and carl must be thrilled." A strange look crosses Michonne's face for a moment and she opens her mouth to speak "Harlow honey you should know that carl hasn't... he's not been... uh himself." Michonne says slowly stopping to pick her words carefully but there is an unmistakable crack in her voice when she talks.

"Not himself how?" I ask and I watch as Michonne shifts uncomfortably before answering "he didn't take your death, or what we thought was your death, very well. He sort of just slipped away from us. It was like a switch was flipped that turned off all his emotions it was the oddest thing, one minute he was thrashing in ricks arms screaming we had to go back for you and then he just... wasn't. after that nobody as far as I know has seen him cry or smile or laugh or get angry or scared it's almost like carl never left the woods around terminus and we were just traveling with a shell of him. I'm sorry love I know that's not what you wanted to hear."

I take a moment to process everything she said, there is a sinking feeling in my gut but mostly there's just disbelief. It sounds sort of like when carl hid in his cell for a week after killing that boy but when that happened he eventually came back to himself so why shouldn't he this time.

"I will get him back" I say determinedly and Michonne sighs shaking her head "it's not on you to fix him love, don't but that pressure on yourself." I pause to consider Michonne's advice before privately disregarding it deciding she's wrong, we are a team so if one of us needs help it's the others job to lend it that's just the way we are.

An uncomfortable silence falls as I stand awkwardly in the doorway stroking posy's back and Michonne stares at me like she's looking for something. Eventually the silence is broken when Michonne says "honey we need to talk."