Object of Desire ; Eyeless Jack x Reader

Chapter 15

        I groaned as I tried getting up from the ground. Luckily, I didn't hit any trees or big rocks on my way down. Definitely didn't feel pleasant to slide down the mud though. When I tried to get up I also felt a stinging pain in my ankle which made it more difficult for me to push myself to my feet again. I must've somehow twisted it while loosing my balance. I felt myself trembling more and more. I couldn't say if it was because of being drenched from the rain for so long was really lowering my body temperature or because this whole situation just shook me up quite a bit. But I knew I felt a wave of exhaustion wash over me and I collapsed back into the mud with tears rolling down my cheeks. I only heard Jack making his way towards me. Looking up at him I watched him use the trees nearby for support while skillfully moving around and not even tripping once in this mud.

The thunder didn't calm down in the slightest as Jack reached out for me and dragged my mostly limp body towards a rocky ledge close to us. Lucky I didn't fall closer to these rocks. I would've probably hurt my head badly again. Some of the rocks and thick roots from the trees on top of the ledge formed something resembling a little cave which Jack used to shelter the both of us from the rain. It wasn't completely dry but at least not completely drenched either. He dragged me inside and leaned me up against some of the rocks before sitting down next to me. He pulled me closer towards me. "No, let me go" I weakly tried to struggle but I just couldn't muster enough strength to resist him.

"Just be quiet. You're freezing." His voice still sounded very intimidating, however not full of pure rage anymore. A particularly loud thunder startled me, making me flinch and Jack took the chance to pull me into him with one fast motion. He wrapped his arms around my shivering body. Is he trying to warm me up? I tried a few more times to push myself away from him only to fail against his strong grip. I just couldn't figure him out. One second he yells at me like he's about to kill me and the next he's hugging me to keep me warm so I don't freeze to death in a thunder storm.

I quietly started sobbing again. I didn't even know why. I just felt like shit. And again, I hurt myself trying to escape from Jack. And again, Jack had to catch me and take care of me again. Why was he even putting up with me? Why didn't he just kill me? Eat my organs like he did with my sister? Did he just enjoy watching me in pain and desperation? For some reason I wished he would just kill me. Or at least consistently hurt me. Without this hot and cold behaviour I wouldn't have these mental struggles on top of my physical ones. I wouldn't have to think about potentially being better off with him instead of back home. That is, if I even had any home at all anymore.

I felt like I was having a panic attack again. I sobbed. I couldn't control my breathing anymore, I was starting to hyperventilate. The heavy rain and loud thunder made me disoriented and sent chills down my spine. Usually, I wasn't scared of thunderstorms. But in this situation the loud noises made my head throb and raised the panic I felt surging through my veins. I held my head in my hands as I curled up into a ball, trying to comfort myself and calm down. I was trembling more and more and I felt my fingers and toes become numb. The numbness slowly spread upwards through my arms and legs. I couldn't tell if it was because of my hyperventilating or because I was just freezing. This continued for several minutes until I felt myself pass out in Jack's arms.

*~*

When I woke up we were still sitting huddled together under the ledge. The thunder stopped and the heavy pouring rain turned into a light shower. I groaned and lifted my head up. I felt dizzy. I couldn't remember much of what happened before I passed out but I remembered being full of sheer panic. I felt Jack get up, making me fall to the the side as my support to lean on disappeared so suddenly. Jack grabbed my arms, pulling to away from the ledge and back on my feet. I stumbled as my mind was still way to foggy to process my current situation. I slowly remembered what happened prior to my passing out, my failed escape and the heavy storm and how Jack took care of my and sure I wasn't freezing to death while I was having a panic attack. Thinking back to it, it felt strangely embarrassing. To have him rescue me from the storm and to just be helpless ball of fear cuddling into him. My face felt hot from embarrassment.

At least my twisted ankle didn't seem too bad after all. It hurt to put weight on it as he dragged me behind him but luckily, my biggest problem was to keep my balance and not stumble around too much. It didn't help that Jack started walking in a very quick pace. I struggled to keep up with him but somehow managed to at least not trip and fall every step.

He didn't say anything as we walked, I assumed, back to the house. Well, he never really talked to me. But as he was dragging me along I felt like he was actually in a really bad mood. Of course, I couldn't tell for sure. But judging from his body language he just didn't seem very happy. He didn't turn to look at me even once. Usually staring at me was his favorite thing in the world, but as we were walking he kept his gaze straight ahead. The way he was just quietly but rather quickly walking seemed somehow menacing. I didn't know if I should say something. Most of all, I was just very confused. He went from being angry to taking care of me to being pissed again. Somehow, his sudden weird shifts in emotion started to make me rather annoyed as well.

He kills my family, he keeps me locked up in a shitty house in the middle of nowhere, turning my whole life into chaos and now he's making sure that even my mind is complete chaos. I still felt a lot of exhaustion from the whole ordeal and the panic attack earlier and I definitely wasn't in the mood to give up and get myself locked up again after all my attempts to leave. I felt a wave of determination wash over me and gathered all of my strength again to rip my arm away from him and make him stop in his tracks. "Let go of me!" I yelled as I stood there, his back was still turned to me. Only when I heard him take a deep breath and slowly turn around to face me, his mask still hiding his face but his body obviously in raging anger did I realize.

Oh now I fucked up big time.