Object of Desire ; Eyeless Jack x Reader

Chapter 32

        Despite my determination to give out every little piece of information I had about Jack, I never actually ended up visiting the police station. Of course, they called me and visited the house many times the past few days to press for information but I just never answered any of their questions. I wasn't sure why. I wanted to tell them so badly. But I never managed to get any words out of my throat when I was talking to them. I never told Alex anything either. Whenever anyone asked anything about the events of the past weeks, I just stayed completely silent. It was frustrating. At least we were allowed to get back into my old house and pick up some of my personal items and clothes so I could feel a bit more at home in this guest room and wouldn't have to borrow clothes from Alex anymore. I even finally had my phone back. I only realized how much I missed that little device after spending so much time without it. I also decided I should be getting back to school and all the studying as quickly as possible. The final exams were close and I didn't want to miss them or completely mess up. If I wanted to forget about Jack and move on I'd have to try and get back into a normal life. Keeping my head busy with school meant I wouldn't have time to think about what happened. Or what might happen.

Luckily, the guest room had a small desk in it which I used to spread out some school books to look at all the stuff I missed while I was gone. I tried my best to read and concentrate on it but my mind kept drifting away. I sighed and got up to walk over to the window. I looked outside. I could see the crowns of the trees in the distance. The trees that belonged to the forest. The forest I just spent several weeks living in, captured by that masked cannibal. The cannibal that killed my family. Staring at the trees whose leaves were lightly waving in the wind I thought back to Jack's question. Was I sad that he did that? Was I sad that my family was gone? I wanted to just say yes. I wanted to just miss my family, tell the police who killed them and watch that man go to jail and pay for what he did. But when I was completely honest with myself, I wasn't sad. I thought about it so many times. It made me cry many times. But I didn't cry because I missed them. I cried because I wanted to miss them but I just didn't. I felt conflicted. They were my family, I should be sad. Devasted even. Why wasn't I?

Was that the reason why I didn't want to tell anyone about Jack? Was I grateful that he did that to my family? They surely didn't deserve anything that happened to them. But I had to admit to myself that I most likely could live a better life without them. In a way, Jack helped me. And that was a horrible thing to even think about. I felt a headache slowly creep up. I shouldn't think like that. He still kidnapped me. He still did many bad things to a lot of people. I shouldn't be trying to protect him. I sighed again and left the room to get a glass of water from the kitchen before taking another try at focusing on my school books.

*~*

The study session was more or less successful, at least for a few moments I could actually focus on it. I tried for some hours until the sun set and I decided to just call it a day and go to bed. I had problems properly falling asleep though. It was weird. During the time with Jack I slept so much and now I couldn't manage to fall asleep at all anymore. At least I wasn't having as many nightmares. I tossed and turned for quite a while before managing to drift off to sleep for a bit only to wake up randomly during the night a few times. I suppose I still felt paranoid Jack might've recovered and tried to make sure I wasn't ratting him out to the police. I double checked closing all windows and doors around the house before going to sleep, asking Alex to help me lock everything as well. He seemed very worried but didn't complain.

Every time I woke up, I either grabbed my phone to mindlessly scroll through various social media apps, trying to catch up on all the interesting stuff I missed while purposely avoiding any news about murder and kidnapping. I scrolled through various posts related to makeup, fashion, gaming and pretty much anything else until my eyes felt tired enough to let me sleep a bit longer. It wasn't a great night but I managed to get at least a few hours of sleep probably.

I woke up to the sun shining through the window, lighting up the small guest room I was sleeping in. I didn't exactly feel well rested but after everything that happened it probably still took quite a while to return to normal completely. The most important thing was to at least act normally for now. Trying to internally hype myself up a bit, I got out of bed and walked downstairs into the kitchen to get myself some breakfast. Walking past Alex' room it was completely quiet so I assumed he was still sleeping. It was pretty early and I knew he liked to sleep in so I decided not to bother him. I wasn't sure about his parents but even downstairs it was pretty quiet. Not wanting to potentially wake everyone up by starting to mess around with pots and pans, I just made myself a sandwich. I also didn't realize how much I missed just regular food. I didn't have to live off canned food anymore. There was bread here. And fresh vegetables. Fruits. Just normal food. But I appreciated it so much. Finishing off my first sandwich, I quickly made aa second one before walking upstairs again to try and study a bit again.

With my sandwich in hand I entered my room, closing the door behind me before approaching my desk where all of the books were still spread out. It looked chaotic to say the least. And yet, this bright yellow big post-it note, with big black letters written on it, placed right in the middle of the desk almost immediately caught my eye. Looking at it, I felt my breath get stuck in my throat and I reflexively dropped my sandwich to the ground.

Miss me?