Object of Desire ; Eyeless Jack x Reader

Chapter 42

        Jack took a moment to think about it. He looked at me in confusion for a while before his expression changed into a more neutral state and he slowly nodded. "Alright. You go first this time and answer." He said, looking at me expectantly. I took a deep breath and averted my gaze, looking down at my lap now where I nervously intertwined my hands. I didn't know how to explain what was going on in my mind the whole time. But I had to, somehow.

"You... are a bad person. You kidnapped me. You hurt me. You threatened me. You're scary and cruel." I started off, still keeping my gaze downwards. "But I just feel like there's something else to you. Something that isn't just about being a psychopathic killer. I feel like you are much more than all this." I paused to look up and towards Jack. He kept a mostly neutral expression on his face, listening to me intently without interrupting me in any way. "I want to know who's really behind that mask." I looked at him with determination in my eyes. He didn't react at first and it was hard to figure out what he thought about this. Even without his mask, he wasn't really expressive. His long pause made me kind of anxious and I was scared he would maybe get angry again. Or maybe he was just a psychopath after all with not much else behind it and I just maneuvered myself into a certain death situation. I didn't want to believe that though. Luckily, Jack started moving again after a while.

"I see." He quietly said, almost more to himself than to me.

"So, my turn." I clasped my hands together and stared him down. What was I going to ask first? Actually, there was one thing burning on my mind more than anything else. "You are a really quiet and calculated person, usually sneaking around and getting your stuff done quickly and unnoticed. So..." I tilted my head as I looked at him in confusion. "What was that tonight? Complete chaos and you were just all over the place." I could see Jack clenching his jaw a bit as he slightly averted his gaze from me. Was he... embarrassed? He cleared his throat before leaning forward, propping his elbows up on his knees.

"I... I don't really know. I just felt like it." He muttered, scratching the back of his head as he leaned back again. He almost looked adorable when he was a little lost like this. But I really wanted to know.

"That's not how this works. I answered your question. Now you answer mine. 'I just felt like it' isn't an answer." I insisted, keeping a stern gaze on him. He sighed.

"Fine. But I really can't explain it properly. I just..." He trailed off, lost in tought like he was trying to remember the exact moment. Staring off into space, he slowly continued. "I was just so angry. Just watching you the whole time, having fun with your friends and your new family. Trying your best to forget all about me. I hated to see you so happy." His voice sounded bitter and on the verge of another rage attack. He quickly shook his head. "I always prefer the quiet way to keep all the trouble to a minimum but I just... I just lost it." I furrowed my brows. His answer was still confusing to me. Why did he get so angry specifically about that stuff?

"Why were you so angry?"

"Hey, isn't it my turn to ask again?" He chuckled and raised one of his eyebrows.

"This is just part of my inital question. Your answer wasn't very satisfying."

"Alright." He crossed his arms and looked at me, his gaze piercing through me. "Why was I angry? After going through a lot of trouble because of you, trying to make you feel a bit more comfortable here so you don't cry the whole day. And you replied to that by using a weak moment to your advantage, kicking me into an open wound and running off, leaving me to die for all you cared. I wonder, why was I so angry?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm and I bit my lip, averting my gaze once again. "And while I was stuck alone in this house, trying to treat my own injuries while being in a lot of pain, you go out and party." He snapped at me.

"Trying to make me feel comfortable? By threatening to take out one of my kidneys to eat it in front of me or threatening to harm my friends if I dared to leave. How exactly does that make me comfortable around you?" I really had the intention to have a calm conversation with him. But apparently he didn't feel like just being honest to me. I knew he was a bad person with many bad intentions. There was no use pretending he wasn't. And then just putting me at fault for everything.

"Well, didn't I bring you a set of your clothes when you needed them?"

"After letting me live in my own dirt for days."

"Brought you into the living room and out of that dusty, old bed?"

"To chain me up until my ankles were full of bruises and scars."

"I took those chains off when you asked me to."

"To make me scrub your bloody clothes and clean your house." I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes. He was just giving excuse after excuse. And he still didn't just honestly tell me what was going on inside his head. Apparently I was just so annoying he couldn't deal with it. I sighed. "This is useless. You're not even trying to give me an acceptable answer."

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't get on my knees to beg for your forgiveness."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm asking you to just be honest. If you're such a freak about psychology and being self-aware, how come you're not noticing how much of a narcissistic ass you are?"

"And yet, you're the one running back to me, desperate to talk about your feelings."

"Fine. You know what? Forget it. It was stupid to think there was something else going on inside your brain except torture and murder. If you want to kill me then just do it. But if you don't-" I got up from the couch, throwing the blanket I still had wrapped around my legs to the floor. "Then excuse me!" I stormed off towards the door, not looking back at him even once while I opened it and walked outside with quick steps. Why did I ever think someone like Jack could actually be normal? What kind of Stockholm Syndrome made me believe that he was someone you could talk to? Someone you could spend time with normally? I felt tears well up in my eyes as I turned into the direction of my hometown and started walking back into the dark forest.

"(Y/N)!"