Heaven Help Me

I know what's going on...

My dads funeral was yesterday, I haven't moved since I have arrived home from the sadness that I had been dreading. A part of me fels like I could have been the reason of it but Julian kept reminding me it had nothing to do with me. 

I was still curled in a ball in my bedroom upstairs, mum had offered to look after Mia so she could spend some time with the family had left. It made it even worse that mum wasn't even blood related to Mia. The only blood related she had from my family now was Savannah and Jakeb. She still had a whole side of De Vizio's luckily. Why does everything without my dad seem so worthless? I mean he only just entered Mia's life a couple weeks ago, why did it hurt me so much if for the past year I hadn't even classed him as a father. I don't think I had realised how much I loved him until now, it kind of sucks. I wish i didn't just push him out of my life like I did.

As the door opened some light seeped through before it disappeared again as the door shut quietly. 

"Julian?" I mumbled. His shadow walking around to his side of the bed, crawling under the sheets we shared behind me.

"Shhhh, it's ok. Everything will be fine, there's no need to cry beautiful. I'm here now, I'll keep you safe." He wiped away my fresh tears as he pushed certain strands of hair behind my ears, his words soothed me as I pulled my weak body towards his shirtless chest. He always knew how I felt, his the only one that can ever tell if I'm lying but best of all he made me the person I want to be. 

"Julian, its happening again you know?" I pulled my head from his chest as i stared in to his blue orbs.

"Whats happening again?" He asked with confussion as he rested his chin on the top of my head.

"Babe, its been two months si-" He cut me off mid sentance. He knew exactly what i was going to say, his blue orbs becoming bright and happy while filling with tears of joy.

"Aubree... were having another baby?" He screetched as he kissed all parts of my face bringing me into laughter, I hadn't laughed like this for a while. He always made an everyday thing feel so special.

One last kiss he pressed onto my lips as he pulled my body to rest on top of his. I fall almost asleep as soon as he did this. He always kept me warm, protected. I loved him for that.

***

I woke up, searching through the sheets for my cuddle buddy. My eyes shot open as there was nobody there. This feeling was familiar. It reminded me of when we first got together and he would scale up the tree next to my window and climb in. We would put a movie on, most likely to be a old disney classic, cuddle up to eachother sharing passionate kisses, we would have tickle fights and have to cover eachothers mouths so we wouldn't make any loud screetchs. My dad never liked Julian for me at the start of our relationship, Jenifer always had to talk him into letting me go on dtaes with him.

Now was different, why wasn't Julian there? I mean we live together so he should be right? 

I lifted myself out of bed for the first time in days, putting on Julian's basketball shorts and one of his grey three quater length fabric T-shirts. I pulled my body down the stairs, using the railing as I was still half asleep. I got into the kitchen pulling myself onto the island in the kithcen, accidently hitting my head on the pots hanging in the moment. Smooth move Aubree, it's 8:00am and I think you just woke up half the neighbour hood.

As I put my arms behind me for support I brushed somebody elses skin, whoever it was had smaller hands than Julian. My eyes shot open as i plunged off the table to where our knife rack was. Thank fully before I made my next move I saw who the person was.

"Laura? That's your name right?" I slid the knfe back before she saw that I had picked up a weapn in defence.

"Yeah, nice to meet you finally. So sorry to diturb you. Trent just went to the toilet. Julian had asked us to come check on you but I think Trent is about to go out for work with Julian." She spoke in a sweet voice. She was Trent's new girlfriend but oh my god was she beautiful!