𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤. ʀ. ʟᴜᴘɪɴ

twenty-one

Evangeline was quiet for the next few days.

She didn't address what happened with Damien, and Remus felt it was best not to push. But he found it increasingly worrying how much Evangeline was distancing herself from him. The two spent no nights together, rarely spoke in between classes, and had no trips to Hogsmeade together. 

Damien was around Hogwarts, much to Remus and Evangeline's distain. According to Dumbledore, he worked with Barty as a 'glorified secretary.'

During meals, Evangeline said nothing. She couldn't bring herself to do or say anything with Damien down the table from her. Remus was not shy with glaring at Damien, he hated him.

On the fifth night of Damien's presence at Hogwarts, Remus heard a soft knock at the doors of his quarters.

He got out of bed and put on a jumper before walking to the door, putting his ear to the door.

"Remus? Are you in there?" He heard Evangeline's small voice from the other side.

He quickly unlocked the door and opened it, letting her in. Evangeline dragged her feet in, hugging her cardigan over her body tighter.

He gently shut the door and turned to her, taking in her form. She looked so unsure of herself, tired, and vulnerable in ways he was not yet use to.

"Are you okay?"

"I think I..." Evangeline started, sitting down on a sofa by the fireplace, "I owe you an explanation for why I've been acting so distant towards you. I want you to know that, it's not because of you. You've done nothing wrong. I just get in my own head sometimes."

"You don't owe me anything, Evangeline," Remus said, sitting down next to her. 

"I do," Evangeline said, "I want this to work, and therefore I know I need to be more open with you."

Remus nodded gently, "alright, then. I'm listening."

Evangeline took a deep breath, "Damien and I... we were together for sometime. I met him straight out of Hogwarts. He was nearing his thirties and I had yet to explore my twenties and get a taste of the real world. I suppose the idea of him being accomplished and successful excited me, and I blindly trusted him. I gave myself up to him in more than one ways, he managed to pick at every fibre of my being and put me together to his liking. He'd break me down and build me back up just to tear me down again and be able to say that he was there for me during my dark times but... he was my dark times. And Remus, I want you to know that I don't want to go back to him. I haven't got feelings for him anymore but that doesn't mean that what he's done to me has completely healed. Please, y-you don't have anything to worry about. I wouldn't leave you for him, not now or ever. He just brings out the worst in me, makes me feel so small and vulnerable... because that's how I was with him."

"Does he scare you?" Remus quietly asked. 

She shrugged lightly, "A bit. I know he couldn't beat me in a duel, but my weaknesses lie outside of the physical... he can get into my head, he knows my weaknesses. That's what scares me the most. Damien he... he's just hurt me, a lot. I'm scared of feeling like how I did when I was with him but I'm afraid it's already happened. I don't want to go back to the scared little girl that I was but I cannot help it. Damien broke my trust, broke my pride, my innocence, my heart... I like to think that I've healed and gotten better but his presence here has been a rude awakening that I've still got things to sort out."

"Do you trust me?"

She flattened her palms over her thighs, staring anywhere but at him.

"I do," she quietly said, "I wouldn't be telling you this if I didn't. I wouldn't have told you about my condition or let you have me if I didn't... but there are some things I've kept, him, because I'm afraid that it will just blow up in my face. I'm sorry for that, I should have told you. Damien has just been a reminder that I've been used, that I'm nothing new."