𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤. ʀ. ʟᴜᴘɪɴ

fourty-five

"I came as soon as I got the letter. Remus, I'm so sorry," Mary softly said, hugging Remus in the doorway of his cottage. 

Mary returned just over a month after she left. The moment she got the letter informing her of their loss, she booked the next flight back to the UK.

"Thank you," he said, hugging the woman a little tighter. 

"How has she been?"

"She hasn't moved from the bed other than to brush her teeth and shower," he sighed as she walked into the cottage. 

"That's good that she's at least keeping up with hygiene. It looks small, but that means she's making some effort to take care of herself. It's a stepping stone."

"She draped the necklace you gave Hope over her gravestone. She couldn't bring herself to bury the necklace with her."

Mary's eyes saddened impossibly more. She sat down on the couch, "I truly am sorry, Remus. I know you've probably heard it a thousand times over and it's probably getting old, but my heart aches for you two. You two deserved that happiness."

"Trying to remind myself that everything happens for a reason, but those reasons I'm not quite understanding. There's no reason in the world that's good enough to explain why she was taken away from us," he bitterly said, leaning up against the kitchen counter. He ran a hand through his hair, "and Evangeline... she's hurting so much. I can't do anything to take her pain away, can't take away her guilt or shame... everybody's been telling me to give her time but I hate knowing how much she's hurting and I can't do anything. Been talking to Pads a lot and he's just told me to give it time but I don't know how much longer I can do that."

"What do you want to do?"

"Force her to sit up, shove some food down her throat, make her talk and cry it out with me. Possibly scream up at the sky."

"What have you been doing?"

"Just stayed around here. Cleaned up the house, walked outside, checked on her."

"Have you gone out at all?"

"Heavens, no. I don't want to leave her."

She nodded thoughtfully, "I can't say I've been in this situation, therefore every piece of advice I could possibly give you may not be of any use at all."

"Any bit of advice would be appreciated."

"Sirius is right. Give her time, but be there. Going through something traumatic like that is going to take a long time to even think about healing. Time can stitch up a shattered heart but those scars are always going to remain. She's never going to be the same."

He pushed himself off of the counter and sat down next to her, "I know. I still love her, though. I just... I just hope she knows it. I hope that every morning and night that I tell her I love you doesn't fall on deaf ears."

"It doesn't," she assured.

That next morning when Remus woke up, Evangeline wasn't next to him. 

He slowly sat up, seeing that the bathroom was empty. After brushing his teeth he walked out of the room and called for her name, only to be met with silence. 

He looked out of the window that overlooked his garden, finding her sitting in one of the outside couches he thrifted just a few months back, staring at their daughter's grave. He sighed and made two cups of tea and grabbed two blankets before walking outside. It was still early in the morning, the sun just beginning to start the day. 

She didn't acknowledge him as he draped a blanket over her shoulders and handed her the cup of tea, but he was grateful she allowed him to do anything at all. He sat next to her, holding the mug to his chest as the cold air bit through his skin. 

"Mary's come back," he said. 

She said nothing, sipping her tea and continuing to look over at the grave. 

He didn't push for her to say more. Instead he opted to just sit in silence next to her, gaze settling on the gravestone ahead. 

Remus didn't know how long they sat out there for, but it was long enough for Evangeline to slowly finish her cup of tea and for the sun to fully rise. 

Eventually he felt something shift. He didn't know what it exactly was, but he felt it. She scooted closer to him and laid her head down on his shoulder, eyes still fixed ahead. He found himself feeling relieved, this was a stepping stone.

He took one of her hands that laid in her lap and held it, squeezing three times. 

She squeezed back.