𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤. ʀ. ʟᴜᴘɪɴ

thirty-two

Evangeline showed up at Remus' cottage the next day. 

He let her in reluctantly, scratching the back of his head nervously when she saw the state of the cottage. He hadn't fixed the door that was broken, and he didn't do a great job at keeping the space clean. 

"Feels like home," Evangeline said quietly.

He handed her a cup of tea. She smelled it lightly, "it's lemon balm. Read it's good anxiety."

She sat down in his living room, holding the mug close to her chest. He sat down at the dining table, "Remus, you don't have to stay that far away from me."

He ignored her comment, "I apologize for leaving so abruptly yesterday. It was just a lot to take in."

"I'm aware."

"I don't know what to do. I honestly haven't got a clue where to go from here."

She raised her brows quickly, "I can't exactly say I planned for this to happen. We'll learn together."

He nodded, "I... I did some reading, turns out I cannot pass down my condition–"

"As I said yesterday."

"– but I'm still keeping my distance."

"Shocker," she muttered.

"I'll admit that I cried a lot yesterday."

"As did I."

"And threw some things."

"Does that explain the state of this place?"

He sighed, "Evangeline, I can't even look at you without thinking about what I've done to you. I'm so sorry."

"You don't need to be, I already said I forgive you."

He put his elbows on his knees, linking his fingers together over the back of his neck, "we've got a lot to think about, don't we?"

"We do," she responded. She stood up and walked to him, nudging him to sit up straight. He looked up at her reluctantly as she took his hand, placing it under her shirt on her stomach. 

"You feel that?"

"Not really..."

She rolled her eyes and held his hand there when he tried to pull away, "there's a fucking baby inside of me, Remus. Your child. I cannot have you up and going or shutting yourself away during this. I need you throughout this, together or not."

"I said I'll be around."

"No. Not just around. You cannot come and go as you choose. This isn't a game, this is a human inside of me. You're either with me one hundred percent or not at all."

He stared up at her, "alright. One hundred percent. We still can't live together, though."

"I know," she said, dropping his hand. 

He kept his hand on her stomach, and for the first time in what felt like forever, she saw him smile. 

"I'm going to be a father."

"Yeah, you are."

"You're going to be a mother."

"I am."

He looked at her stomach before gazing back up at her, "I'll be here for you, Evangeline."

"That's all I need from you."

He stood up, feeling his heart race at the closeness. He thought about how badly he wanted to capture her lips and steal her breath away, but nonetheless, he knew he couldn't allow himself to do that. 

He brought her in for a hug, which she immediately accepted. 

"This feels unreal," he muttered. 

"I know."

They pulled apart and he distanced himself from her, "I... I resigned. From Hogwarts."

"You what?!"

"I don't think I need to explain why–"

"Way to ruin the fucking moment," she snapped, stepping away, "what the fuck has gotten into you?"

"After what happened, I've realized that I cannot put students in danger–"

"Did you resign out of fear of hurting students or just not wanting to see me?"

He tapped his fingers on the table, "a bit of both."

"Remus, you're the best teacher that school has seen in ages."

"You could take my position."

"I don't want it! Remus, let me remind you, we have a child on the way. What are you going to do without a job?"

"I've saved up money from teaching. Money isn't an issue for the first time in forever."

"You said you'll be with me one hundred percent of the time through this, has it occurred to you that I'll be pregnant throughout the coming up school year?"

"I didn't have your pregnancy on my mind when I resigned. Sent the letter to Dumbledore last week. I'm sure we could work something out where you can come back and forth–"

She walked back to the living room and plopped down on the couch, snatching her mug up and sipping it, "this lemon balm is doing nothing for my anxiety."

"Sorry..."

"Save it," she snapped, "I've never wanted to punch you so much as I do right now."

"Do it."

"What? No."

"You'd feel better."

"The idea of your nose being broken is enticing but I don't want to actually do it, Remus. You know, I've also considered resigning for the year just to get this baby out of me."

"Don't let this stop you from doing your job, I know you love it there."

"I love this child more," she muttered, "I could just work in the Auror office, no field work. Just casework."

"I'm sure they'd love to have you back, but don't do it just because you feel like you have to."

"No... I wasn't seriously thinking about it until you just told me this. We need to be within reach of one another throughout this, going back and forth from Hogwarts will become a hassle and frankly I don't care to deal with teenagers while pregnant. I'll end up hexing one of them."

"And casework is somehow better?"

"You'd be surprised at how therapeutic it can be."

a/n
i've been writing nonstop for hours it's now three in the morning goodnight