𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤. ʀ. ʟᴜᴘɪɴ

forty-six

Shortly after Evangeline and Remus sat outside, she eventually got up and walked inside. Remus sat outside for a few passing minutes and then followed her in.

He found her standing in the doorway of what should have been Hope's bedroom. Leant up the doorframe, she had her arms crossed over her front looking at the decorated bedroom waiting to be inhabited.

It would never be.

Remus carefully walked to her, one arm gently wrapping around her shoulders and the other around her middle. He pulled her back against him and she leant into his touch, eyes closing and letting out a shaken breath.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop saying that," Remus chided gently, "this has never and will never be your fault."

"I'm apologizing for shutting myself down this past month. I'm not the only one who lost a daughter and I should have been there for you as well."

"We're both hurting, Evangeline. You've had every right to react, it's natural and normal."

She rubbed a hand over the forearm that was in front of her neck, "where do we go from here?" she quietly asked.

"I don't know," he answered, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"I don't think time is going to heal this hole in my heart, Rem. Merlin, we lost a daughter."

"I know," he said, lifting the hand that was resting on her left shoulder to her face. His thumb gently rubbed her cheek, "and it's going to be painful to live with, it's going to hurt and we'll suffer, but..."

"But what?"

"We've still got each other. I'm not leaving you, now or ever."

His voice was constantly sugary sweet, laced with comfort and a certain firmness she always loved. It gave her reassurance that he was there. He had her and she had him. That brought some comfort back to her.

"What are we going to do with this space?"

"I reckon we leave it. Because maybe... down the road, if you want, we can try again."

Evangeline never thought she wanted kids. She was so sure of it and never really thought about it even after she met Remus. It wasn't until pregnancy and how attentive Remus was with her when she realized it wasn't that she didn't want it, but she just wanted children with the right person and he solidified all of her thoughts that he was. Even through everything, she had no doubt in her mind that he was the right person to bring life into the world with.

She slowly turned in his arms, sad eyes with the smallest glimmer of hope gazing up at him.

"You mean it?"

"I love you," he said, resting his forehead against hers, "after getting over the fear of passing my condition down, you've made me realize that the idea of little you's running around doesn't sound too bad."

"I reckon we should wait, though."

"I agree. Maybe do a few more years of teaching at Hogwarts..."

She pulled back, "y-you're returning next year?"

He nodded, "the idea of being away from you for that long isn't exactly enticing, and I do love teaching. Do you still want go go back?" he asked.

"I do."

He placed a soft kiss on her forehead, "we're going to be okay, Evangeline. Maybe not today, probably not next week... but we'll be okay. I know there's nothing I can do to take away your pain, but I hope you know that I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."