KIAN

A Murderer

MIA

As soon as I hear Kian's voice, I push the door open and step inside. I find Kian leaning on the floor to ceiling window behind his desk, his shoulders slumped, and his fingers roughly mingled in his hair. Anyone can tell that he's frustrated and stressed. Jogging towards him, I stand right in front of him and caress the hand which is in his hair. Instantly, he relaxes under my touch and looks down at me, freeing his hair from his grip. A small smile forms on his tired lips. He seems really stressed, and it's only a little over 7 a.m. How is he going to hold up for the rest of the day?

I feel his arms snaking around my waist and pulling me closer. He rests his forehead on mine and shut his eyes. My eyes remain glued to his face as he inhales deeply and then exhales. And then his eyes snap open, startling me. His burning gaze makes me nervous, so I look down as I mumble "Thank you. For last night." 

His rough fingers tilt up my chin, making me meet his eyes. His stormy black eyes soften as he speaks. "No need to thank me, dear. I see you've accepted my little gift." He glances down at the necklace and a ghost of a smile plays on his lips.

"It's beautiful. And the letter too." I say timidly.

"I'm glad you liked it, Milan." He breathes. Before any of us could say anything more, a loud ring interrupts us. It's his phone. Furiously, he picks it up, facing away from me, and barks on his phone "What now?" Why does he have to be so angry?

"THAT FUCKER!" He growls over the phone. "Kill him." He says deadpanned. My eyes almost pop out of their sockets. He's the mafia boss. Of course, it means killing people. Kian must have killed people. That makes him a murderer?  Once he hangs up, he runs a hand through his hair and tugs at them. Reluctantly, I touch his tensed back with shaky fingers.

"Kian?" He turns around and faces me. The look on his face isn't as scary as I imagined it would be. "Kian, you kill people." It was supposed to come out as a question, but it rather sounded like a statement. What surprises me more is what he says next.

"So? You already hate me. And now you know that I'm a monster who kills people. You must hate me even more. Am I right?" He says it so blandly like he doesn't care at all. But just yesterday, he told me that he still loves me. 

Yesterday was so different. 

I take a step forward toward him and look him straight in the eyes. "Kian, why are you saying this?" I frown. "I-I don't hate you," I whisper the words so low that I doubt he even heard it. But he did.

"You don't love me either." He spits, making me shudder at his harsh tone. Okay, now I'm mad. So, I yell at him. "You have no right to be mad at me for that. You are a MURDERER." As soon as the words escape my mouth, I regret it. Oh, I'm not the one to act on impulse, but I don't know why I let my emotions get the best of me just now. The thing that makes me regret it the most is the expression on Kian's face. He looks hurt. Genuinely hurt. And disappointed. And disgusted. And sad. When I move to touch his face, he instantly pulls away as though my touch would burn him. 

"Kian, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry." 

"No, you're right. I am a murderer. A monster." He whispers, sorrowfully.

I know I couldn't take my words back. I know no amount of sorrys would suffice what I accused him of. I know he will pretend to forget about it, but it won't leave his mind easily. I know what I said was wrong. It's true, but wrong. A bitter truth.

Confused and guilty, I walk out of his office with one thing on my mind.

I fell in love with a criminal.

I hear the door open behind me, and a pair of familiar arms engulf me from behind.

"I'm so sorry, Mia." He whispers in my ear and buries his face in the crook of my neck. Gently, I caress his hair. He lifts up his head slightly to meet my eyes and says "I would never ever hurt you." 

I smile at him as I say "I know." 

He would never ever hurt me.