KIAN

devastation.

3 years ago...

MIA

I dial Kian's number once again, as Mom drops me off at school. I texted him earlier, but he hasn't seen them yet. I feel a little uneasy about this because Kian has been looking distracted and dazed this past week. I know something's not right with him, but he doesn't tell me. I don't press it too much, because he would tell me when he's ready. I trust him. 

I enter through the gates and my eyes search for the only person I want to see right now. Kian. My eyes don't catch him in the hallway, but what they do catch is people staring at me. Most of the students in the hallway are giving me all kinds of looks. Some just staring, some smiling wickedly, some looking with pity, some rolling their eyes. I'm so fucking confused. What did I do? I checked myself in the mirror before heading out; I looked fine. I did not just throw on a sweatshirt and put my hair in a bun. I put on a chic outfit and tamed my hair and put on my regular makeup. I NEVER come to school looking stupidly dressed. Fashion is important to me.

"Hey," comes the voice of Valentine, my best friend, from behind. She quickly comes beside me, and we both start walking towards our lockers.

"Are you okay, Mia?" Valentine asks. I frown at her.

"I don't know...why is everyone fucking staring at me?" 

"Uh...so you don't know," she whispers as we stand in front of our lockers.

"Just tell me what it is!" I state, utterly annoyed at this point.

"Did you talk to Kian this morning?" She looks at me with a knowing look, a look telling me something really bad is gonna happen.

"No." I frown.

"Do you know what he was doing last night?" She asks and I shake my head. 

"He hooked up with another girl last night." 

"What? No. What the hell are you speaking about? He would never." I refuse to believe that.

"You don't believe me? Mia people saw it with their own eyes."

As soon as my brain registers her words, a raging war begins inside me. Valentine is my best friend and she would never pull a prank on me like this or lie to me about something like this. And Kian is my boyfriend; it's serious. Kian would never cheat on me. He told me that he loves me... 

Valentine must have false news. This must be a rumor. I don't want to believe in the possibility of this being true.

"Mia, that's why everyone has been staring at you. Last night, at Lloyd's party, people saw him with another girl. I can't believe nobody has told you about this yet. Maybe..." Her blabbering blurs. Everything blurs. God, I just want to cry. But, I can't. I'm not alone, here. There are so many people, and I don't want to cry in front of anyone. They'd think that I'm weak and so pathetic. And probably that's what Kian thinks too. Why else would he do this? But, I love him so much. This is all fake. It has to be fake. He loves me.

"Mia?" Valentine shakes me out of my thoughts.

"Are you...are you sure this...this is true?" I stammer out the words somehow.

Valentine sighs before saying, "Mia, why would I lie to you? It's what I've been told. Yeah, it might not be true, but I think it is. I never liked Kian anyway." 

"I'm so confused. I need to talk to him."

It seems like the world around me is spinning. I turn around and head towards the restroom with Valentine tagging along. Midway to the bathroom, my eyes catch sight of Kian, leaning against his lockers, surrounded by his friends. He's looking down at the floor, completely lost. 

I change my path and walk towards him. He looks up and our eyes connect. His eyes widen for a second but then he goes back to the way he was before. His friends immediately take their cue to leave and now it's just us. 

"Kian, what did you do last night?"I ask, calmly.

"I hooked up with another girl." Liar. He says it while avoiding my gaze, his body language, uneasy. I know he's lying. He isn't very good at lying.

"Kian, I know you're lying. I don't believe you." 

"Believe what you want. That's what you always do. You're so stupid, Mia. All you do is manipulate people into seeing what you want them to see. Maybe if you would've paid more attention to me, I wouldn't have fucked another girl." He spits out, looking straight into my eyes.

"I don't pay attention to you? Are you fucking mad or what? You have been neglecting me this past week, and I have been nothing but supportive of you. And you accuse me of not paying attention to you? I am always there for you. I take off time from my schedule just to be with you! And you're the one who always cancels our plans because you have work after school. I know you have to deal with stuff in your life. I understand all that, and yet you accuse me!" My tone rises up an octave as I confront Kian.

"I don't have anything to say to you. Just leave me alone," he says, deadpanned. Something inside me starts breaking apart.

"Why are you doing this, Kian?" I whisper.

"Because I don't want to be with you. I don't want you, Mia. I'm breaking up with you." 

We just stand there for a few seconds, absorbing the new reality of us, until I turn away without any other word being exchanged. I close my eyes. When I open them, I start taking steps forward. 

Stop me. Stop me. Stop me. Please, please, please. Please, stop me. I fucking love you so much. Don't leave me. I love you. Please, stop me.

But he never did. He watched me leave and didn't stop me. 

The bell rang. Everyone around started shuffling to their respective classes.

Mindlessly, I walked into the bathroom. Thank goodness, nobody was there to watch me cry. So, I let my tears fall after holding them for so long. 

I don't wanna be here. Should I call Mom? No. She never really liked Kian, anyway. She would just lecture me. 

I decide that I should call my best friend, Vincent. The only one who can help me right now to get me out of this shit hole school. Vincent knows me more than anyone else does. He picks up in the first ring.

"Sup, Mia?" comes his voice. I sob. "Hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" His tone clearly worried now.

"V-Vince, please come get me. I'm at s-school." I manage to speak between uncontrollable tears and sniffles. 

"I'm coming, M. I'm coming, love." 

Vincent stays on the line all the while driving here. He hears me crying. My ugly sobbing and sniffling. 

Why did Kian have to do this? 

_______________________________________________________________