{DISCONTINUED} Just One Yesterday *A Fall Out Boy Fanfic*

Chapter Twelve

I cried for hours. I would look at the clock on my phone. All texts saying that I'm a fuckup and that I should kill myself. They were right.

It was 3:00 am exactly. I heaves myself out of bed, into the bathroom. I grabbed Pete's razor, slipping the blade out easily. I locked the door, closing my eyes as I slid the blade across my wrist. It stung, but the best stinging ever. I did two more.

I gazed down at my cut, bleeding wrists. I crouched down on the floor, sobbing. I'm a fucking idiot. What the fuck did I just do?

I let my wrists bleed on to the floor. I deserved this. I deserved this pain. It's why my real parents didn't want me, and why my dad abused me. I was an idiot.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream so badly, and it was too late when I realized I had already been screaming. "OCTOBER!" Someone yelled from the other side. "Open the door!"

I knew it was Patrick. He was in his Batman pajama bottoms and a loose tee, without a fedora. I pulled my sleeve down, hoping the blood didn't stain the light blue. Reaching up, I twisted the handle. Patrick fell in, landing in front of me. I pulled myself away from him as he scrambled towards me. I pressed myself into a corner, Patrick moving next to me. He grabbed my wrist, lifting up the sleeve. No going back now.

He stared at the cuts, cupping his free hand over his mouth. "October.." He mumbled. I pulled my arm away from him. "Sorry." I whispered, covering my face with my hair.

I felt Patrick wrap his arms around me. "Shhh... I know." I leaned into him, crying on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," I repeated. "I fucked up, I'm sorry." I was lying to him. I had the desire to push him out and slit my throat rather than my wrists. I wanted out of this game of Life.

I wasn't sad. I was more angry. I was crying out of pure anger at myself. I slammed my head against the back of the wall, my headache increasing. Patrick pulled me away from the wall, grabbing my wrist again. He ran a warm, damp cloth along the cuts, standing to get a medical bandage. I let him put some gauze stuff on it, then wrap the cuts.

"Can your promise me one thing?" Patrick whispered to me. I nodded. "What?"

"To never do this- or any harm to yourself again." He replied, kissing my cheek lightly. "I dunno, Patrick. I'll try.."

"You don't try, you promise." He said stubbornly.

"I promise." I said.

"Thank you, Sunshine." Patrick replied. "I love you very much, and never forget that. Whenever you feel alone, I'm here for you, and I swear on all of my hats."

I smiled at that last part. I couldn't find words to describe my feelings. "Thank you, 'Trick." I yawned, falling asleep on his shoulder. I felt myself lifted off the ground and placed on the bed, arms wrapping around my waist.

I felt loved. I felt important.

**

I woke up to a light shove from Patrick. I groaned, turning over, my lips brushing his. I smiled, sitting up. "What time is it?" I asked. "Six." Patrick replied. "I've stayed up, making sure you were okay." He whispered.

I smiled a bit, biting my lip. "Oh." It was silent for a few seconds. "October, I don't want to be rude or anything, but you look nothing like Pete. Are you.." He obviously didn't want to continue.

"Adopted?" I finished. "Yeah. I was born three weeks early, which is probably why I have dyslexia and I'm asthmatic. My birth parents didn't want a child, but they decided to give it a shot. For the first 5 years of my life, I was pretty much neglected." I felt tears pool in my eyes. "Uh, yeah. I was put up for adoption at six and was adopted when I was right by the Wentzs." I smiled weakly.

"Once Pete went (bad-um tss) to join Fall Out Boy and make it as a career, that's when.." I sniffled. "It started. I didn't know what I did to deserve it. At eleven, I was self harming, pulling the hair out of my head. I didn't want to cut myself in fear it'd be too obvious that I was in pain."

"October.. You don't have to continue." Patrick cut me off, wiping tears from his own eyes. I shook my head. "It lasted up until I came on tour with you. My mom had no idea about it, since she's always on business trips.."

I sobbed to myself, Patrick's hand moving in circular motions on my back. "October, I'm sorry you had to experience that... If I knew.." He rambled. "Don't be fucking sorry. It was my fault anyways. I was the idiot of a daughter. Twice."

"I didn't mean to make you upset.." He gasped. I got up, wiping my eyes. "It's fine, whatever. I'm okay." After a second of trying to calm myself. "So what are we doing today?"