Lonely Rabbit

Chapter 9: Resurfacing Memories

A/N: Quick peek into a bit of Izuku's past

*Warning for self-hate talk and suicide/suicidal thoughts

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(Aizawa POV)

Rabbit has been acting strange for the past few weeks and Aizawa was starting to get concerned. Usually he would deny his worries, but his problem child wasn't the same alert, level-headed vigilante that he had been for several years.

The kid had stopped his usual pranks for the most part, wasn't talking as much or making snarky remarks, and he seemed to be out of it most of the time between fights. Like his mind was elsewhere.

Just the other night, Rabbit tripped while they were crossing rooftops and nearly fell off a building. Aizawa swears he almost had a heart attack. To make it worse, the kid had just laughed it off and said he must be tired and should head home soon when it was clearly more than just a bit of sleepiness.

As tempted the hero was to sit him down and interrogate the vigilante for answers, he couldn't. Even mentioning his recent behavior to him was brushed off or avoided. And it's not like his lies were convincing either. Aizawa knew for a fact that the kid had lied or told half-truths before, but they were hard to spot. These half-hearted lies were obvious and unlike him.

Aizawa wasn't sure what to do.

'Perhaps Tsukauchi will have some ideas'

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Izuku could only stare at the ground in his own shock of realization. In his own growing disgust of himself. How could he not?

'Mom... she was dead...and I didn't even care... I- I didn't even cry.'

Her body was still up in her bedroom where he left it. When he had come home after school, he found her in her room, cold and unmoving. Izuku had simply checked for a pulse before he began to pack what he would need to live on his own.

He had hacked and changed records so that he went to live with his dad in America today and even forged a note so that it seemed like she had purposefully overdosed when he left in distraught for losing custody of her son. After that, he made himself a fake identity and ran to the store for hair dye and other necessities. His plan was going perfect.

But everything came crashing down now that he was back home. The air was already starting to smell strange inside, and reality hit him. He hadn't even been upset. He had just accepted his mother's death and then thought of how he could survive. Even if she hadn't been the best mother, she still gave him a house, an education, and food. He should care.

But he didn't.

And he realized that they were right, everyone.

He was pathetic. He was useless.

He was a defect.

Izuku felt his stomach lurch but ignored it as he suddenly ran to the door, shaking. He didn't deserve to live, not after the flicker of relief he felt when he found her. Not after leaving her body to prepare to save himself. Not after the way he faked a letter for her. Not after driving her to her death for the failure he was and still is.

It was as if a cloud was fogging up his mind and he moved dazedly. The door was locked silently, and he made his way to a nearby building.

'If you want a quirk so bad, take a swan dive off a roof and pray you'll be born with one in the next life.'

'Yeah' Izuku thought as he numbly climbed the broken and mossy stairs. 'I'll be reborn and I won't be a failure next time. I'll make my parents happy.'