Chapter 20

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"You said that?" Madaline exasperates as we take a break from running five laps around our school track. I lean down to place my hands on my knees and catch my breath. Coach didn't allow walking- not even speed walking. Jogging and running were the only two acceptable options.

I hold up a hand to tell her give me a second and let me intake more than five breaths of oxygen. Once I'm fully able to talk, I glance up at her with a sort of pride. "Yep."

Madaline matches my pride and we fist bump as coach blows his whistle at us. I take in a big breath of oxygen before getting back onto the track with Madaline by my side. We're on our last lap which is a blessing. Everyone else is already ahead of us because they didn't take breaks after every lap like Madaline and I un-shamefully did.

"Seriously, Nol," Madaline chides, "I'm proud of you. Even if it was in the spur of the moment- you did it. You said what you needed to."

I smile gratefully at my best friend as we complete our last lap. Shouting at my parents in pent up frustration and annoyance wasn't my plan, but everything I felt spilled rapidly from my lips. There was a hint of regret but that was it. Just a hint. The weight I usually felt on my shoulders seemed to have lifted almost immediately. There was no more holding back my true thoughts and feelings when all it did was cause complications to my life. My parents couldn't see that. They didn't see it, so I had to make them.

Crying and breaking down like a little girl who's balloon popped wasn't apart of my plan either, but the tear conduct that stayed glued behind my eyes decided to flood open. That also felt relieving to me. Crying is something I rarely did and I forgot it's something that everyone does. The circumstance doesn't matter- everyone cries. Wether in silence or out in the open.

My dad was speechless yet again and it seemed justifying. He shouldn't have had anything to say. Processing first is his best bet. My mom cried, but there was a sense of pride behind her neutral eyes.

"Earth to Nolan," Madaline waves her water bottle in front of my face, "are you going to pass out from dehydration or drink some water before coach makes us do something else?"

I smile sheepishly in apology for being so deep in my thoughts. It happens way too often now. I grab my water bottle from the bleachers and chug down the drink, the cool liquid sliding down my throat. I tilt my head back with a sigh, feeling much better than I did ten seconds ago. My eyes catch two figures sitting on the very top of the bleachers; it takes my eyes a short second to adjust and see that it's Scarlette and Jackson. I point them out to Madaline who decides to go up to them.

I follow after her, my water bottle still clutched in my hand. Scarlette and Jackson are in a deep conversation while smoking, their hands passing back and forth the death stick. Jackson notices us first but his eyes linger on Madaline more than me. Maybe it's because she's in front of me or he has the feelings. Either way, Madaline gives him one of her best smiles before reaching them completely. Jackson nods towards me and that's when Scarlette gives us her attention.

She must see me eyeing the cigarette because she takes it from Jackson's hands and throws it down the crack of the bleachers. It lands in the grass and everyone ignores it as we jump into a small conversation. I contribute very little as my eyes keep jumping to Scarlette. Her hair is down and flowing down her back with a few strands escaping over shoulders. She has new earrings that shimmer when the wind blows them, and her usual gold rings. My eyes slowly move down to admire how her outfit fits her perfectly. Green, I think while looking at her converses. Her favorite color.

I trail my eyes back up to see Scarlette staring back at me. Her eyes don't meet mine as she takes in my black joggers matched with scruffy shoes and a dark blue jacket. After a moment she looks back up to meet my eyes and hers hold no traces of embarrassment. Even if I caught her staring back at me. We stay like that- just staring at each other until I give in and motion to a spot where we could talk without bothering our friends. She nods and we separate from them without a word.

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