Chapter 30

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'Burn all ties' will be my quota until I see the start of a white casket. Not white because I want it to be, but because my parents say it's purification. That and something about it being a sure sign. Anyway, I'll make sure that they don't put a tie on me after my death- especially since it may be the very cause of it.

It's not a requirement for church either, and that's where I'm going for the evening. I'm more excited than usual because Scarlette said she'll try to come. The keyword is try, so I'm trying to calm down the raging feeling that's sending butterflies and bees fluttering around my stomach.

It happens any time I even think about seeing her. Her chocolate brown eyes that glisten in the sun, her perfect smile that creates her cavern-like dimples. All of it makes me feel like there's a zoo pounding around in my stomach.

It's a rounded ten minutes that I stand in the middle of my room, wasting time. My tie is still loose, so I tighten it before heading down with my light blazer, and phone. Mom somewhat gained a constant worry of being late. I don't think either dad or me has gotten used to it.

"Come on, boys, put a little more peps into your steps," she rushes, like we know she would.

Dad and I send each other amused looks before leaving the house with mom right behind us. We pile into the car, getting into our familiar seats. I'm hit with a feeling of shock when my mom turns on the car radio, a soft humming flowing through the car.

"Nolan, will Scarlette be joining us?" dad asks, from his designated spot in the driver's side.

"Um," I look away from the window, meeting his eyes in the rear view mirror. "Maybe."

My parents have showed clear signs that they're favorable of Scarlette. She's all they talked about after everyone left. It was a little awkward- which I think is normal, but I was more than happy to tell them about how happy my sweet girl makes me. Scarlette was a little happier than I was when I called her that night, telling her about my parents and I conversations.

I left out the part of my dad apologizing for judging her too quickly. I'm not sure if she knows about the situation in the first place, but I don't want to go backwards. Moving forward is the only thing that I'm accepting.

"I hope she does attend," mom adds on, "I'd like to see her again. Meet her family too if they they tag along."

I smile, nervously, the feeling that we're going too fast coming back to me. Scarlette and I may have been friends first, but our relationship is new. A thought that shamefully lingers in the back of my head is that I'll be the one to ruin things between us. I don't want us to be ruined, but if it happened, it'd be my fault somehow.

"We're here, Nol," mom's voice intrudes my thoughts, bringing me back to the reality of earth.

I blink a few times to clear my vision. Families in their nicest clothes pass by, and I step out to see if I can eye Scarlette. I look for a whopping five minutes before dad reminds me that church services start soon. I nod in understanding, but that doesn't stop my hopeful eyes from wandering. It's when the front of the church starts to clear that I turn around to join my parents.

"Were you going to go in without me?" my favorite voice says from behind me.

I turn around to be met with my girlfriend. She's dressed in a nice blouse and neat pants to match. My eyes take her in one or two times- maybe three. She looks beautiful in every aspect, and this is just a reminder. Scarlette laughs at my stunned and adored look. I snap out of it, meeting her halfway as she walks to me.

The butterflies and the bees make their return as the first thing Scarlette does when she gets to me is take my hand in hers. I lock our fingers together without a single thought. She does her own once over of me, my favorite smile of hers showing- her dimples capturing my eyes.

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