lucky star // jamie drysdale

18

KENDALL

"Hey, uhm I'm sorry."

I instantly recognize the voice. It's Davey, Connor's best friend.

"Davey," I warn. If he puts Connor on the phone right now I'm hanging up.

I like Davey, we grew up together but why or how he puts up with all of Connor's bullshit I don't know.

"Kendall uhm," he pauses like he doesn't know what to say. Then I hear a sniffle come from him. My whole body tenses. Whats going on?

"Davey?" I hum when he doesn't say anything for a minute. His silence is making my heart race.

"Uhm, Connor overdosed last night," Davey answers. I don't want to believe him but he sounds like he's holding back tears.

"This better not be some sick joke, Dave," I wrap my other arm around my stomach feeling nauseous.

"Damn Kendall! I wouldn't joke about something like this. I'm being serious. His mom found him in his room this morning."

No.

No.

No.

"Wait, I don't understand." My eyes are starting to water and I can't form thoughts, "What...uhm what did he take?"

"I don't know, I didn't want to know. But Andy said they found a stash of hard drugs in his room. I had no clue," he sighs almost sounding like he thinks it's his fault.

Andy is Connor's older brother. Fuck, I wonder if he saw him too. My stomach drops at the thought.

Then the image of his mom finding him flashes in my head and makes my knees go weak. I glance over my shoulder and see a bench. I slowly move towards it and sit down.

God, I think I'm gonna be sick.

"I knew he was struggling with the break up still and that school was hard but I thought the parting was just a weekend thing," Davey continues, "I feel so stupid. I can't believe I didn't notice."

This still kind of feels like a joke but I can hear it in Davey's tone that he's not lying. I've know Davey just as long as Connor. I know when he's messing with me and when he's being serious. And right now he's more serious than I've ever heard him.

"Uhm," I hum not sure of what to say. I start fanning myself with my other hand trying to hold the tears at bay, "I'm sorry, I don't know what to say."

I also don't know how to feel. Part of me wants to burst out into tears and just fall apart, but anther part of me feels numb because of how shitty he had been acting before this.

But I gave him five years of my life. I loved him, a part of me will always love him.

"They're going to hold a service, I'm not sure when yet but I'll let you know. I just called because I didn't want you to find out from social media or something," he sighs, "I know things were weird between you two but I knew you'd want to know."

A couple tears slip from my eyes, but I try to collect them with my finger, "Thank you, Davey."

I glance through the window at the same time Jamie looks over at me. He tilts his head as if to ask if everything's okay. I give him a small smile and a thumbs up.