Falter

Time

Ella's POV

I woke in the morning not feeling great so I called Martin to tell him I wouldn't be at work today. He was worried at first but I explained to him that I had a rough night, and that Derek was in town so he would look after me.

I was thankful that Derek was here, because when I needed a hug or to punch something he was here to do all of it. We discussed Christian a lot while he was here. At times it was to figure out how to keep everything out of the media, Derek wanted me to end things, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I even signed the contract and put it on Christian's desk, we haven't seen each other since that night he came over. He didn't text me or call me, I thought after a few days that maybe he was no longer interested and that hurt the most, for some strange reason I felt I was more than a contract but I guess I wasn't By the second day of no phone calls no texts or even an email, I cried myself to sleep every night thinking
'you were never good enough for him' or
'you didn't think he would care for you did you'
those were the dark days I really appreciated Derek, it was difficult for me. Derek thought I had finally called it off with Christian, because I was a mess, I hated work, I was scared that I would bump into him and it would be awkward.

It was now Monday and a new week, and still I haven't heard from Christian. I was busy trying to get some work done, when I received a call from Shirley
"Hi Ella Mr Williams would like to see you please"
I didn't know what to say I didn't expect to hear from him again.
"Shirley did he say what he needed?"
"Only that he needed to give you something"
Yep I can just guess what he wants to give me.
"Okay"
After she hung up I knew I didn't want to see him, he had officially not spoken to me or contacted me for five days, and now out of nowhere he was to give me something. I didn't know if I was excited that he finally needed me again or angry that he wanted his booty call again. I can't do this, I looked up and saw Barb walk pass. What was she doing here?
"Hey Barb, what are you doing here?"
"Hey Ella, I was here to see Marg, she was just telling me about Tony and Lena" obviously gossiping as usual
"What are you doing now?"
"Nothing I was just walking around chatting with everyone"
she was fishing for more gossip
"Oh you wouldn't mind doing me a hugh favour would you?"
"Sure anything for you babe"
"Have you ever been to the top floor?"
"Oh my gosh No" she said a little to excited
"Could you please get a document that Mr Williams has for me I would go but I'm kind of busy, it shouldn't take you to long"
Barb was practically jumping with excitement "Yes of course"
I know he won't be happy but right now I really don't care.

I continued to work away but my mind was drifting to Christian what I would give to see his reaction when he sees Barb, I would pay anything to see it.
15 minutes had passed since Barb left before I saw my phone ring, it displayed Christians name, I didn't want to speak to him, I needed time.

I walked over to Martins office and knocked on the door
"Hey Martin would you mind if I take lunch a little early today"
"Sure, is everything alright?"
"Yeah I've got to run an errand before midday that's all"
"Yeah no problem"
I grabbed my bag and walked out, when I got outside the iphone rang, I can't answer it. I found a bench and just sat there holding the iphone it rang several times and then my own personal mobile started ringing, I just sat there, I had no where to go and I was feeling useless, I couldn't hold it in anymore I just cried, this is what my life has resulted to, meaningless sex for him and an emotional roller coaster for me.