|Here For You| :xiaoaether <3

Chapter 22

Hii , ty all so much for the nice things you say , i appreciate it a lot , after you read this chapter you might think i made Aether a little too depressed or think that he shouldn t feel so empty but after everything he has been trough, bro is just tired (im really sorry if you understand that feeling) and tbh i described how he feels in details because i understand that feeling myself but for different reasons but that s not important , all i mean to say is that im sorry if i made him more depressed then someone should be (sorry for talking abt myself in this)

-[mention of suicide/suicidal toughts]

* it s been 2 momths and my brother was still trying his best to find Xiao , i could tell how tired he was, poor boy....
I couldn t stand seeing him like this , it was painfull... 'funny how i keep saying that it s painfull for me... even tho he is the one suffering.. what do i do?! I have to tell him... but he will hate me.. but what choice do i have!? What im doing is wrong! And it has to stop! But how do i stop... a god...? Who has taken away my powers... im nothing compared to her!'

* by now we were basically living in that apartament so i kept sleeping on the couch , leaving Aether the bed

* i watched as he was just layed in bed trying to sleep and i knew it... if i told him... he would run away and try to solve
this his own way.. and die in the process probably

Aether s pov:

* after 1 hour of pretending to be asleep , Lumine was finally sleeping , i carefully walked out of the room and then outside , i ve been doing this everynight since... well a while..

* i walked around Mondstadt and sometimes i d end up zoning out while walking and bump into somthing

* sometimes i d cimb up on roofs or on the statue infront of the Cathedral , it was my way of getting myself out of my toughts

* the past weeks.. it hasn t been working as it used to.. all my toughts were eating me alive and all i wanted was everything to stop , i couldn t feel anything but sadness.. or maybe i wasn t able to feel anything at all , i didn t know what to do to stop... nothing felt real anymore it was like i wasn t even alive or as if nothing existed at all , was i going crazy? I kept to the tought that all of these questions and things i ve been thinking about were just in my head and that i wasn t going crazy , at least i hoped so

* but more and more questions came to my mind 'but i should be happy to have Lumine back.. right?! She is the reason i started my journey...! Something still feels off about her.. OR MAYBE THIS IS ALL IN MY HEAD! , a-and i ve never felt this way before.. what is happening...? Why can t i feel anything... why am i like this.. im trying so hard to stop feeling like this.. to get it all together and go on with trying to find Xiao.. b-but i can t.. i just can t.. i ve always tried my best to help people and to keep on going.. but now... i can t even do basic things without Lumine telling me to.. i just want to end it all , i want to be free from all this pain..
i-i... don t want to feel like this anymore... m-make it stop... please..!' , suddenly i had tears in my eyes again... 'why can t you be how you used to.... why do you always need someone to be there for you.. why can t you just do what you have to.. why.?!! Why are you so stubborn... so stupid.. ?!! Stop it, stop it.. STOP IT!' i couldn t even stop thinking of how useless and annoying i was..

* aftet a while i returned to Lumine , hoping that she was still asleep (how see always was when i usually came back) , and im luckly she was

* my eyes were still red and i had black circles under my eyes , i quietly sat back in bed and once again pretended to be asleep , i was just in time right before my sister woke up and in a short time she came to wake me up too , i couldn t tell her how i felt.. she didn t deserve to suffer because of me again.. 'she s been trough so much herself.. worst then i had and still manages to be on her feet , taking care of herself and even of me... she s so strong.. and im.. so weak..'

* "Aether..! It s late , come on , wake up!" Lumine said while yawning
"Oh.. Morning..." i said trying to sound like i just woke up

* ".....areeee you going to do something today.. or just stay inside all day..?"
she continued trying to cheer me up and get me to go outside more.. i was tired, i haven t slept at all last night and i haven t gotten much sleep in this whole week
"Im alright... i ll just stay here. Thank you for trying.. im sorry.."

* today was different... my sister was acting strange and stressed. It made me worried.. but when i asjed her if something was wrong, she just said it was nothing

* it was almost night and i decided i would try to sleep.. but of course it didn t work.. i just couldn t fall asleep..

* suddenly i heard my sister leaving out the door in a hurry so i followed her to see
Maybe i would find out what bothered her so much

* i stayed in the distance as i followed her in silence and she stopped in a forest,  not so far from the city

* she was trying to summon a portal , but it wasn t working 'how can she summon a portal (well at least try) if nither of us have our powers..?!'
'I ve been here so long , i don t even remember when was the last time i had powers!' but i kept watching to see what she will do , im the end she gave up and started walking back but i knew a shortcut so i arrived back before her

* i had so many questions, i decided not to jump on conclusions until i talk to her first

* once she got back she saw me awake, looking at her with a blank expresion
"How did you manage to make a portal..? a failed one.. but still a portal.."
"And why didn t you tell me you are able to do that..? Because it was clear that you knew damn well that you were able to do so! Why have you been hiding this from me?"

* her face turned as white as paper , her mouth was slightly opened and her eyes wide "I-i.. " was all she said

* she then took a deep breath and walked to me with her head down and sat next to me "i... have to tell you something... "

Done with this chapter ,im not sure if another one will be here soon but i ll try my best , have a great day <333