ON CUE | HYUNHO ⚘

fifteen.

i like this book because you never will know what minho is thinking, since it's all hyunjin's perspective on things..

⚘ Mind over matter. ⚘

I lay in bed.

I can't sleep.

My thoughts are racing.

There's the events from only hours ago to think about. There's the fact that it's only Minho and I home to think about. There's the fact that he's a room away and we can actually talk to think about.

What do I even do?

What was going to happen? What is going to happen?

I can't do this anymore. It's eating me alive. I have to do something.

I stand up out of bed, my T-shirt and sweats on. I walk over to the bathroom door. I need to do this. This is what's best. We need to talk. I take a deep breath before I open the door.

I step inside the bathroom. Then his door opens. I turn over to look, as he walks in the bathroom the same way I did. He is shocked to see me, he freezes. He looks terrible, like he was upset— but he also looks better than ever, his attractive gaze making me nervous.

I kind of regret this now. I came in with no plan. I have no clue what I'm even going to say to him. It was like my mind was just clouded.

This was a mistake. I shouldn't have done this. I turn around, reaching to open the door again.

"Wait—" he pleads, stepping closer. He grabs my wrist, pulling me to him.

We are closer than I'd like, so I stumble away. "What?" I spit, ripping my wrist away.

"Were you coming to see me?" He asks, softly.

"I—" I stutter. "What.. if I was?" I say, quietly.

He smiles a little bit. "Then I'd be relived, because I was coming to you."

I pause. "Why?" I ask.

"Because I need you." He says. "Badly. You've been stuck on my mind and I... I need you. Please."

Fuck.

Fuck.

I can't do it again.

Don't do it again Hyunjin.

But this is what I want.

I need him, he needs me. We need each other.

I feel a tear run down my cheek. I don't even realize I'm crying until he is holding me, confused as to why. He shushes me, rubbing my back as I cry into his chest.

"We can't do it." I sniffle. "We can't, we can't, we can't."

"But we can." He says, he holds up my face. "Hyunjin, it doesn't matter what we are, you can need me. You can kiss me. You can touch me. I want you too."

"But it's wrong." I shake my head, rubbing my lips together. "It's wrong because I..."

"Hyunjin, it doesn't matter what we are. If you need me as much as I need you right now...." He says softly, but doesn't finish his sentence. "Please." His eyes stare at my lips, before going back up to my face.

I know what he is saying.

I know I shouldn't do this.

I want to do badly, but I shouldn't.

But I do.

I reach my hand up to his jaw, smashing my lips into his. I close my eyes, loose tears falling down my cheeks. The tears mix with the kiss. It tastes like tears and vanilla chapstick, coming from my part.