ON CUE | HYUNHO ⚘

twenty eight.

⚘ Tension. ⚘

I haven't spoken to Minho since he broke things off. I guess it's expected though. I deserved it.

Practicing has been going on like usual. I think it's a little odd though. We don't argue, but we don't talk. I guess it's back to normal, just without the hatred now.

There's still the tension though. Now that we aren't speaking, there's a much bigger tension. There's also this other feeling; that everything is wrong. Absolutely everything.

It's wrong to not have him by my side, to have him back across the room. It's how it was before, and it just feels so wrong. I can't even explain how straining it is.

I look over to him, just to see what he's doing. He dancing, practicing for the project Chan informed us about. He looks good while doing it, but the way he looks isn't what I'm focused on.

He turns around, and his eyes meet mine. I kind of freeze. The look he is giving me makes me want to crawl in a hole and cry. He looks at me like he's in pain, like he's dying.

I look away before I break down in tears. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him look and walk away from me. I look back to him when I'm sure he isn't looking my way anymore.

The couch sinks in on the right side of me, and it makes me turn my head curiously. It's Felix. He looks off. Is everybody mad at me? Am I just that bad of a person to everybody nowadays?

He brings his legs up to his chest, resting his head on his knees while he looks at me. He sighs. "I know there's something you aren't telling me." He says, whispers.

"Why are you whispering?" I ask, also whispering. I don't say it in a joking manner, I ask seriously.

"Because if you don't want me to know," he starts, still whispering. "I figure you don't want anybody else to hear. Or maybe not, maybe I'm just being silly. Maybe everybody knows but me." His words get louder as he speaks, until he's talking in a normal tone.

"That's not the case." I say, bringing my legs up to sit criss-cross. "Not the case at all." I mumble.

"Then what's wrong?" He leans back on the couch, an upset look in his face. "Has Minho replaced me as a best friend? Or did I maybe do something to tick you off on my own?

I suck in a breath. "I'm going to tell you something and you can't tell anybody else in this room. In the world, even." I turn to him. "It will help you understand everything."

He furrows his brows, lowering his legs and scooting closer to me. "What?—" he asks, "What happened? What's wrong?"

I face him. "Minho and I have been sleeping with each other for the past couple of months." I say, whispering. "It started the night we all went out after my first performance, because he was jealous that I was taking to another man. It only got stronger since then, his jealousy and my feelings for him. We didn't go on the trip to stop hating each other, we went on the trip because we wanted to get to know each other better."

His mouth drops a little, and he listens to every word I say with wide eyes. He leans back, putting a hand over his mouth. "Say you're joking." He says in disbelief. "There's no way."

"No, but there's more." I say, a bit sadly. "The trip was amazing, phenomenal. It's after we got home that's a problem. I got asked out by Seungmin and I.. I didn't reject him. Minho didn't like that and now.. well... I think I lost him."

"Fuck." He says, still in disbelief. Eyes wide, eyebrows raised as he nods his head.

"Yeah." I say. "And I'm so sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I just wasn't— I didn't tell anybody. I was too nervous to admit it and I didn't want anybody to know it was just sexual."