ON CUE | HYUNHO ⚘

seventeen.

⚘ Right?... right? ⚘

Maybe if we just spoke. Maybe if we put the feelings aside, maybe if we had a mature conversation about how we felt— it wouldn't have been like this.

I push the door open with the rest of my strength, which isn't a lot. My body hurts. My heart hurts. Everything, hurts. I don't like feeling this way, especially from a man.

"Hyunjin." Jisung says, running up to me.

He wraps his arms around me, and I just fall into him. I feel safe. I let my bag drop to the floor, as I lean into him. I haven't seen him since the night I walked out, so I can't imagine how he feels.

It's been longer than a week since it happened. I left late that night, and went to my own apartment. I've been staying there since, coming in only to practice in the day. I like it this way. I do it this way because I know I won't have to see him.

Felix also comes walking up to me. He has this look on his face, a look of guilt. I frown when I see it. I can feel my own heart break.

He shouldn't feel guilty. I don't even know why he does, but he shouldn't. I know him and I haven't spoken lately, but that's on me. I hope he isn't blaming himself.

"I'm sorry." He says softly. "I didn't know it was like this... I didn't know he was so mean."

I feel like I want to cry. "He—"

My eyes meet Minho's as I'm speaking. My words fade out. He is standing straight, looking at me. He looks fucked up. He makes me feel so guilty. I can't speak about him when he looks like that.

I clear my throat. I pull away from Jisung, holding his arm. I shake my head, "It's not just him. I was.. I was being mean. I was stressed, we both just were in the wrong place at the wrong time. We were taking it out on each other."

I feel bad for lying. But.. was it all a lie? We were in the wrong place, at the wrong time. We are in the wrong place, and it is the wrong time for us.

"Are you sure?" Felix asks. "I'm worried.. with today being the performance—"

"What?" I ask, snapping my head to him. "It's... today?"

Fuck.

"Oh shit.." I say, groaning.

I guess I lost track of time. I knew it was soon, like a couple days soon. What I didn't know, is that more than a couple days have pasted by. It's today. It's today and I am not prepared at all.

The door to the studio opens, catching my attention. I turn my head to see Chan in the doorway, a manager behind him. He looks around the room to all of us, before speaking.

"We leave in twenty minutes to head to the main event." He says. "Get your dances together, get yourselves together. I don't know, just be ready by then." He says, before popping out again.

I take a deep breath, looking away. You can tell he is stressed. We all are, if I'm being honest.

Fifteen minutes passes by like five, and before I even know it I'm rushed into a van with a few of the guys. It all feels like a blur. I don't know, I just don't feel like I'm in the right mindset to do this today.

But that's not going to be an excuse. I got myself on to this team, so I will be dammed if I don't perform. I am on this team, and I need to prove myself. I'm still new, I don't get to slack just because a boy hurt my feelings.

I mean, it's a good thing. It's what I wanted, right? I wanted him to be gone if he didn't know. And he didn't, so this is good. This is what I wanted.