and, to be honest

00:17

gun hates hangovers and he hates how lightweight he is. it's embarrassing to tell other people that you can only handle a few shots by your friends.

sometimes he wishes he didn't remember anything from last night. gun had to excuse himself from the lesson to wash his face multiple times in the restroom after getting a flashback of tiw and por after accidentally walking in on them. it happened after he slapped tinn. he went upstairs to sleep in por's bedroom, but when he opened the door.

oh my god.

gun wished he could stab himself in the eyes.

he walked in on por sitting on the bed and rubbing tiw's crotch with his feet. tiw sat on the floor and had his hands on por's thighs for support while whimpering.

"gross! gross!!" gun yelled, splashing his face with water over and over again.

after a good minute, gun turns off the sink and dries his hands on his shirt. not noticing tinn leaning against the doorframe, "not gonna explain why you're avoiding me and slapped me yesterday?"

gun jumped, horrified look on his face. thank god he avoided a heart attack. "why? you clearly liked it," he says, walking toward the hand towel dispenser and dried his face with a paper towel. feeling a bit embarrassed that tinn saw him splashing himself with water like a dumbass.

"oh, i did a lot, but that doesn't answer my question." the doors to the restrooms are always open when the students are on the property, but somehow tinn was able to close it. a real mama's boy.

"just fuck off. don't you hate me?"

"i do.." he pauses, always reminding gun that he hates him. "but can't you talk to me? i'm trying to apologise for not showing up, but you make it so hard."

gun freezes, slowly looking up at tinn with an angry expression. tinn knew he had pushed the button. "and now you're blaming me? just fuck off! i have nothing to talk to you about." he says, trying to calm hismelf down. he has no energy to argue with his ex boyfriend right now.

"look at me when we're talking," fuck you, tinn.

that's what gun thought before looking up, "i said fuck off. can you just say what you have to say and leave me alone? i don't have time for this or you!" fuck, this is getting embarrassing. gun hates a lot of things and these were two of them — arguing with tinn and crying. they rarely argued, but when they did, he would get overwhelmed and feel this heavy feeling in his heart.

gun looks down, placing his hands on the sink. quickly trying to think about something that would make him feel better, but nothing was working. the only thing that came up in his mind is the trick tinn taught him — pinching the bridge of his nose while looking up, the opposite way of where tinn is.

but of course, tinn notices it. it's him who taught it, why wouldn't he recognise it? his heart skipped a beat when he saw gun do it still to this day.

tinn approaches gun from behind and places his hand on the younger's back. gun could only let him, he has too many emotions to experience at the moment to resist comfort.

"gun.. why are you crying?" the older asks, slowly turning gun around so they face each other. gun could tell from the tone in tinn's voice that he was actually worried. that he was trying.

as if.

gun pushes tinn off him, "don't you get it?" he pauses and tinn slowly shakes his head as a no, "oh my god.. are you serious? i like you, tinn!" his eyes widen.

gun likes him? that's impossible. why does he like tinn? tinn hasn't done anything, but act like a shitty person to him. why did gun break up with him then? his thoughts overwhelmed him into a shocked state.

meanwhile, gun just cried and cried, "say something!"

silence. the whole place is quiet besides the faint cries of gun and their heavy breathing. "i just confessed to you and this is all you got to say?" he adds, tears all over his cheeks.

tinn finally looks at him.

at gun in the eyes.

both make eye contact and gun's eyes sparkle.

the face gun makes when he is crying and those eyes that tinn used to be so in love with. he can see the entire universe in them. each and every star glowing in them. they're captivating like a venus flytrap.

tinn tries to approach gun again, but the younger just pushes his hands away and walks out of the restroom. he refuses to make a scene by running in case there are people outside of the restroom. leaving tinn all alone again and too stunned to speak, fucking déjà vu.

gun is in his room, sitting on the bed. he plays with his hands. there's two classes left before the school day it's over, but gun skipped both to avoid seeing tinn.

his eyes are blood red from crying.

his frustration is divided two ways. one at tinn and the other at himself and his feelings. he understands tinn's silence. gun unreasonably broke up with him and now he's back confessing again. he knows he's in the wrong and he shouldn't be irritated at tinn.

tinn has every right to reject gun; reject his confession, reject his presence, his emotions and his apology.

but on the other hand, he wants to allow himself to be mad at the boy. the way tinn is avoiding him makes gun feel mistreated and punched at. all he wants is a chance to explain his story, but tinn doesn't give him ears whatsoever.

and no matter how much he doesn't want to be selfish and make it all about himself, he's still pissed. gun badly wants to be responsible and accept that tinn won't tolerate him anymore, but he also wants to be heard. even though he shouldn't be.

it's a constant debate in his head. is he right or wrong? what makes him right? why can't he right his wrong? he's in pure confusion and it's infecting his brain.

a knock on the door interrupts him. he quickly wipes the tears as his mum walks inside. "gun? what are you doing?" she asks. "nothing mum, i was about to sleep." he quickly lied.

besides the very obvious red eyes, his mum also noticed the way he was sniffing. "gun, tell me what's wrong." she demands, closing the door behind her as she walks near his bed.

"i'm fine, mum."

saying the sentence, he instantly broke down into a sob. gun's mum pulled him into an embrace, letting him cry while she patted his head.

"tell me what's wrong, gun? something happened at school?" she interrogates, concern laced in her voice. gun doesn't cry often. he hides his vulnerable side to stop his mom from worrying.

the boy shakes his head. she could feel her shirt getting wet from his tears. "have i told you.. tinn is back, ma?"

she furrows her eyebrows. "what? when did he come back?" she knew everything about gun's relationship, from the start to how it ended. news about tinn coming back was unexpected considering the boy was presumed to stay in australia for a long time.

gun was crying so much he couldn't form any sentences. judging by his reaction though, she knew exactly what to ask.

"you still like him, gun?"

BUIUIIIIG SHOUTOUT TO barc0re for helping me write the gun and his mum part. my ass was struggling fr (plz follow him he's the best boy ever)
also i apologise for making tiw have a feet fetish.. me and ali were joking around and i just....... Yeah! it's actually ali's fault. (It's not my fault she even gave tiw piss kink I said NO. —ali) BIY SI WAS JOKINH BUT U LIKED IT!! U IMAGINED TIW PEEING IN PORS MOUTH ಠ⁠_⁠ʖ⁠ಠ BFFR. I IMAGINED IT BC U MEMTIOMED IT U WOERDO FREAK BOZO EWWW! What's next he's gonna have a shit kink 😒 WHAAT THE FUVVKKK!!! SEE YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS COMING UP WITH THESE WEIRD FETISH😭😭😭 GET OFF MY ACCOUNTYYYY The gaslighting is bonkers y'all #teamali gaslighting where.. GET OFF im going to change the password this is Not a shared account anymore #teamploy