All I want is YOU! 💋 ( FIVE)

How do i un experience this?

TWO DAYS LATER

SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 29 th,

**Carina is obviously still extremely shaken up by the unimaginable shooting that occurred at the hospital, the kids still have no idea of what their momma went through, and Carina didn't even think of asking her wife if they should tell their children. Maya is up early, she went for a quick run , she didn't want to go Too long in case Carina woke up and started looking for her**

8h06 am

Maya: hrmmm babe, I'm back from my run ,
Carina: okay, come here please, I want you to hold me ,
Maya: of course my love, still pretty shaken up huh?
Carina; siiii , I mean I don't understand.... who the fuck randomly decided to grab their gun and go shoot walls and windows from a hospital!
** she was uncontrollably crying **

Maya: I don't know,
**Carina was shaking **
Maya: are you cold ?
Carina: No I'm not cold I'm in shock, today this is what I want to do, sleep and relax, will you sleep with me whether that's in our bed or the couch please?
Maya: of course my love,
Carina: oh and I don't want to tell the kids about what I went through, and we keep it between us?
Maya: yes ,
** Maya was holding Carina as she was slowly drifting back to sleep **
Go back to sleep my love, I'm going to get Kayla and Tristan to help out with the kids,
Carina: hrmmm okay, we can tell Kayla and Tristan but that's it, cause it's all over the news , okay?
Maya: okay, shhhhhhh it's okay!
Carina: but I know they will be suspicious of my weird behaviour but until I'm ready to tell them, we don't say anything okay? I don't want them to be terrified of their surroundings, and live a life in fear , always looking over their shoulders, they are just kids, they shouldn't be aware of my traumatic experience, for now,
Maya: okay, I will follow your lead and we tell them whenever you are ready, my love, there's absolutely no rush , whatsoever!!
Carina; grazie !
Maya: Ohhh our little baby princess is awake, I'm going to go get her!
Carina: thank youuu

** Carina got out of bed and came downstairs with her family, she was sitting in the living room chairs, and she stared and stared at the walls**

Violet: mommy , is momma okay? She looks like she's seen ghosts!
Maya: what? Yea momma is fine.
Carina: hrmmm what? Come here my little flower,
Violet: did you sleep well last night momma?
Carina: uhh I slept here and there last night, chunks of hours here and there.
Scarlett: is it because of Londyn momma?
Carina: No , she's been sleeping through the nights lately and it's great, I've just had an extremely worst nightmare ever, that's all !
Chloe: are you suuuuure momma? You know you can tell us right?
Carina: yea I know, I will but I'm not ready to explain my nightmare yet , once I get professional help to work through this I will, I promise! All I'm going to say right now is that I witnessed something at work two days ago and I'm still not comprehending it myself properly yet, that's why I'm going to see someone like Diane,
Chloe: Diane? She's mommy's therapist right?
Maya: yes that's right, she helped me with my past so I can learn how to leave it behind .
Carina: exactly,  and mommy will help me get a therapist that specializes in that , all I ask is that you no longer SLAM THE DOORS , okay? Please, I love youuu all soooo much , thank you ! 
Lorenzo: ohhh okay, just know we are here for you momma,
Chloe: okay we will be careful,
Violet: siiii momma, we will do anything to get you through this,
Scarlett : yes Exactly, we are big kids now we know not too slam the doors ,
Lorenzo: exactly,
Thats a trigger from what happened huh?
Carina: siiii ,

** Carina now has a new trigger, SLAMMING DOORS, she jumps every time someone slams the doors , **

10h27 am
** The kids all went to play in their playroom**

Chloe: how bad is it that momma needs professional help getting through her nightmare Enzo!
Lorenzo: I don't know, but we have to respect momma's decision and she will tell us when she ready, Violet, Scarlettt and Lessandro, as you can see momma obviously went through something that traumatized her and she will need us to be nice and not fighting with each other, although we rarely fight, but ,
Scarlett: yea we understand Enzo we will be careful with our words and actions,
Violet; siiiii , because we love momma and we want her to be better, and in order for her to be better and happy we have to respect her decision to not wanting to  share it with us right now,
Chloe: exactly,

** Carina changed places , she's now sitting on the couch with a comforter blanket and she can't shake the images and sounds from two days ago, she definitely knows that her post traumatic stress disorder diagnosis is going to be SEVERE! **

Maya: babe? Hey hey, I'm here, shhhhhhh !
**Carina is understandably in shocked and can't comprehend how she didn't die in that horrible ordeal **
Carina: I ..... don't understand why I'm .....
Maya: babe, I'm here for you, let everything out, it's going to make you feel a lot better,
Carina: okay... I don't understand how i'm .... St—il al——iveeeeeee Bambina, i saw him , I was in a hospital room at the far far end , luckily he didn't think to check in our room otherwise I would have beeen Sh——ooooottttttttt !

————-
Maya: babe I think I found you a therapist for your....
Look, she does phone calls and she even comes to her clients houses, for most of them,
Carina: okay, what is her name?
Maya: uhhh Stefania Spampinato! She's been doing this for 20 years, highest ratings , excellent therapist,

Carina: okay contact her now please, I still can't explain it out Loud !
Maya: of course I will, and she says that she allows her patients to be with their spouses/ partners!
Carina: ohhhh okay thank goodness!! I don't want you to leave my side ,
Maya: I won't.
Londyn : hi momma, I have momma milk pwease pwease! ** she came in the living room from her playroom and she had a teething toy in her mouth **

Carina : ouhhhhhh come here you, of course I'll give you my breast milk,
** she kisses her one year old daughter and gave her kisses everywhere **
Londyn: twank youuu momma! Why you crying momma?
Carina; I'm not hurt , I'm just tired, sometimes we cry when we are extremely tired,

**Londyn looks up at her momma, Carina looks down at her uncovered breast and strikes her baby girl's hair away from her eyes,Maya is sitting next to her wife and she is holding her left hand , reassuring her wife everything is going to be okay, and at that moment Carina cried and cried, **

Carina: hopefully..... I will stoooooppppp cryingggggggg so oonnnnn ! Bambina, i dont know what tooooooo doooooo !
Maya: shhhhhhh it's okay, let all of your emotions out,   I booked you an appointment with Stefania this coming Monday, eleven am ,
Carina: ohhhhhhhhh kayyyy grazie Bambina, te amo ! Forever,
—————————————
Hours later

Violet: momma are you okay?
Carina: hrmmm yea,
Lorenzo: momma , I'm worried about you,
Carina: thank youuu bambino , but I'm fine, just a little shaken up , that's all,

20h29
Everyone is in bed ,

Carina: I'm going to take a bath babe,
Maya: alright, Londyn is finishing up her bottle and I'll join you in five minutes
Carina: alright,

**carina drew herself a nice warm bath and she gently got in the bath and she lit a candle and relaxed and waited for her wife**

Maya: okay, onto my next patient
Carina: hrmmm , thank you seriously Bambina , I feel like I don't deserve you.
Maya: don't be silly my love,
I'm here and I sometimes can't believe that I got married to you,
Carina: okay ** she pouted ** please come in the bath with me
Maya: I am , ** she gets undressed **
And then I'm continuing the lower back massage,
Carina: okay thank you, I love you forever
Maya: yea me too, I love you forever
Carina and Maya: to the moon and back, forever and always

23h
**Carina and Maya are both settled in to sleep,**

Maya: babe , I have a silly question for you,
Carina; what is it Bambina?
Maya: whitch is your favourite animal between a dinosaur , a dog  a bear , a gecko a cat and umm a sort of — an Axiolt ?
Carina: uhhh i dont know what is the last one you said , but uhhh I'm going to go with, a bear
Why ?
Maya: okay bear it is! Perfect thank you, ** she hit purchased on the weighted bear **
Maya: ahhh it's a surprise for you babe
Carina: hrmmm , you didn't order a real life bear did you? Babe I know it's significant to our relationship but babe , a bear ? Seriously?
We don't need pets, we have a lot of children Bambina, I .... I'm sorry but I'm saying no to animals!
Maya: ohh , babe, I didn't order a real life bear, ahaahh , you are going to be okay, the surprise is going to get here Monday !
Carina: hrmmm okay! ** she calmed down in her wife's chest **

Maya: it's already 23h20 we should go get some sleep! Good night babe, I love you and I choose you FOREVER!
Carina: yea good night Bambina! I love You too , forever and always!