All I want is YOU! 💋 ( FIVE)

Juliette Hope

Saturday October 27 th

**Carina still couldn't believe how beautiful the drawing of her angel baby was , she took the drawing and put it in her closet... along with Her things from her pregnancy... she has her pregnancy test, her ultrasound pictures of all three babies... and a bunch of Juliette... and three different kinds of baby socks... a PURPLE, A RED ONE AND A MINTY GREEN PAIR and now this beautiful drawing has now been added to the box of souvenirs **

5h27 am
**Maya woke up and fed Londyn a bottle of milk... to let Carina's breasts take a little break as it is extremely painful and tiring... she's gently rocking her baby in their rock chair. Carina was so exhausted from the lack of sleep from the past few days that she didn't even hear her one year old daughter getting up and wiggling their door handle , thankfully Maya did!**

5h36
**Carina woke up to go to the bathroom, when she came back , she was surprised to see her wife asleep with their daughter in their rocking chair **

Carina: hrmmm hi my love, you fell asleep while bottle feeding her, thank youuu for that !
Maya: hrmmm , what?
Oh you're welcome, I know you said that you prefer breastfeeding over bottle feeding but lately you have been stressed out and I thought you could use a break!
Carina: siii, I highly appreciate it, she can now go back in her bed , come sleep next to me again , that rocking chair isn't made to fall asleep in, hand her over to me , and get back in bed, I'll be right back!
Maya: okay!
** Both wives got back in their own bed and cuddled in each other's chests **

7h28
**Maya and Carina both got up early to go to the cemetery... to see the spot that they reserved for Juliette, None of them are prepared for the amount of emotions that awaits them... Andrew slept at Carina's house the night before cause they called him and said they were meeting the owner of the cemetery and he obviously agreed to stay home with the kids... until Maya and Carina both come back. Their meeting is at 8h am**

7h32
Maya: babe, come on , let's go, we're running late!
Carina: I know, I'm coming.... Ahhhh ! I'm so nervous...
Maya: yea I know, I am too!
Carina: but it's necessary, she deserves a final resting place!
Maya: yea I know, I'm driving...
Carina: okay!

** Half an hour later they arrive at the cemetery.. Carina is already emotional, Maya is as well.. they brought Chloe's drawings with Juliette's information on, so they could have it engraved on the headstone . Maya asked Victoria and Andy to help out , with this painful yet beautiful thing.they obviously agreed. They are going to do the burial later the same day with friends and family, they all decided to bring a little toy to honour their sibling/ daughter , while both moms were seeing the burial spot for their Angel baby, Andy and Vic stood in the far back giving their friends, enough space to grieve and cry over this tragic loss , **

Chloe: momma,
Carina: yea ?
Chloe: do you think I will still be able to see Juliette's spirit once she's in the ground?
Carina: yea I believe that you will still be able to my love, but now we all can come here in a special place where we can put happy birthday balloons, a little Christmas reef and do so with every holiday
Violet: ohhhh i love the idea !
Scarlett : yea me too!! Wait , what would have been Juliette's little affectionate nickname momma? I'm your lady bug , Violet is your little flower!
Carina: hrmmm well it would still be spring themed as your birthday is in spring , so maybe a dragonfly , or a butterfly or something like that...
Maya: Awnn , those are cute little spring insects
Carina: siii , I don't know why I thought about a dragonfly first but I guess it's a cute nickname for her no?
Maya: I absolutely love it babe,
Chloe: so every time you see a dragonfly, we can think of Juliette, and that's how we'll know she's here watching over us
Maya: excellent idea, just like your momma and her puzzle pieces, she loved doing puzzles right?
Carina: Yess , and that's an excellent idea Chloe, I can't wait to see a dragonfly, somewhere!

10h28

**Carina and Maya came back with their children to the cemetery to show them Juliette's final resting place, they now are aware of what this morning is going to be. Each child got to go the dollar tree store and pick out something that they could leave on the gravesite **

Carina: a little Angel statue
Maya :  a little dragonfly
Lorenzo: a firetruck
Chloe:  a minty butterfly
Violet: a minty coloured little bear
Scarlett:a ladybug
Alessandro: a police car
Londyn: a Baby rattle
———————————————————-
Maya: okay we are here now,

**Carina took several deep breath's and gathered all the strength she had in her to face the difficult time that was awaiting them**

Maya: is everyone ready?
The kids: Yess
Maya: okay, babe are you ready?
Carina: No, but I'm being extremely brave right now and it's very difficult but she deserves this so I'm doing it for my sleeping baby! Let's go now before my whole body goes completely numb !
Maya: alright!

** maya and Carina walked hand in hand with their six children to the special place for their daughter's final resting place. Carina stood there in front of her sleeping angel baby and she crumbled on her knees and started crying nonstop... the kids were obviously upset but only Lorenzo and Chloe were aware of the situation... the younger kids didn't know what was happening.... They will understand soon enough though....**

Maya: the headstone is perfect right babe?
Carina in between sobs : yeahhhh .... It's perfect...
Chloe: hi Juliette. I know you know I can see you, and you can always follow us back home as it will always be your home too, but in cemeteries, people who gained their wings like you, their souls just kind of live here...
Carina: momma will always love you, always and forever, my little dragonfly.. we will come here to see you every day... I know I will need to ... in order to feel more connected with you...
Lorenzo: we love you so much and we will live through you... acknowledge you...
Chloe: hi juju , even though I said that people souls live in the cemetery... please don't hesitate to come visit us.. I will let everyone know that you are here...
Violet: hi Juliette, it's me your big sister Violet, yes I'm the oldest triplet... I'm so sorry we never got the chance to meet you and grow up together.. but you will always be in our hearts..
Scarlett: hi Juliette, I'm your other big sister, yes I'm still older than you... but moms told us that birth orders only matter when you are born... so now that we are seven years old.. it wouldn't make a huuuuuuuuuuge difference.... Maybe it would have... I don't know...we love you nonetheless... keep watching over us all please. We love you .
Alessandro: hi Juliette, I'm your younger brother, I think about you every day, we never got to meet each other but you are going to be my older sister forever. We love you so much...

Carina: those are some beautiful words, I'm sure she loves them so much...
Chloe: ohhh I almost forgot, I drew this picture of what I thought you would have looked like when you gained your wings... I hope you love it..
Maya: I am sure she loves it. We will always love you until we meet again, our little dragonfly.

Maya: we should get going...it's almost one in the afternoon...
Carina: awnnn, I don't want to leave...I can't... I want to stay here... ** she cried even harder **

Maya: yeah I know babe...

**Carina didn't want to go home...she wanted to stay here with her angel baby.. but she knew they couldn't... the kids were getting reckless and they were running around the whole cemetery... carina didn't speak the whole entire car ride home, she looked at the window and cried. Maya drove back home ...**

18h
Everyone ate tacos with rice that Maya made, Carina hadn't stopped crying since they came home from the cemetery, she cuddled with Londyn, played with her little dark brown hair, just like hers, and breastfed her... it's the only thing that seems to make her feel better... she knows grief takes time... she lost her grand parents, and her mother, so she's familiar with death and grief.. but grieving your child, your infant... inside your own stomach... it's gut wrenching... she is forever grateful and thankful for her beautiful intelligent surviving twins.... But no one can ever replace Juliette. Maya knew that going to the cemetery was extremely difficult for her, and her wife so she gave everyone a bath, read every one their bedtime stories and then cuddled with her wife and one year old daughter.. maya helped carina get in their bed so they could fall asleep... it didn't take long before carina was sleeping..
21h25 every one was sound asleep.**