Never Knew I Needed (Chaelisa)

Chapter 22

Jisoo pushes off the wall and slowly walks toward me, her arms folding over her chest and eyes squinting further as she gets closer and closer.

I know I should say something, because I don't even know if she saw Rosé come out the closet before me. For all I know, she could have just come along and was casually leaning against the wall in case someone she knew walked past. Which, sure, is unlikely and means I might have to come up with an excuse about why I was hiding in a storage closet, but that's sure as hell going to be easier than explaining why I was in there with Rosé.

Although as she gets closer, where I expect to find curiosity and suspicion lingering behind the hazel eyes boring into mine, I see something else.

Something softer.

Something more like... an understanding.

And a willingness to listen.

It cracks something inside of me, something I thought I could hold back and when she gets close enough, I choke out a sob and a single tear rolls down my cheek, and then she's right there, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me into a hug I didn't know I needed. I don't cry; instead I force myself to hold back the remaining tears threatening to spill and clutch on to her, pressing my face hard into her shoulder and digging my fingers into the fabric of her pajamas beneath her coat as I let the walls come down and let my emotions free.

Pain. Anger. Jealousy. Hurt.

I let all of it go, let it racket through my body, slice through me until I'm whimpering against Jisoo's shoulder and wishing that it would just go away. I just let myself feel, and Jisoo holds strong because I can't do it for myself, and rubs comforting hands up and down my back as we stand in the middle of a hospital ward's hallway, people, doctors, patients, just passing by until I finally manage to find some routing for myself. Until I finally manage to pull away from her and stand on quivering legs, Jisoo's hands grasping my biceps as she looks, like really looks, into my eyes.

But I know she won't be able to see how I'm feeling. There's only ever been one person who could look into my eyes and see how I'm feeling.

And that person just walked out on me, and is now probably off with some other guy.

God, I'm such an idiot.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Jisoo finally questions, her voice soft and low.

I gulp, because it's not until know that I know for sure that she knows what subject I would talk about. She knows, I can tell by the way she's trying to sympathize with me subtly and by the way her thumbs are massing my biceps that she knows about me and Rosé. I'm pretty sure I knew when she was walking toward me, when she was showing me understanding instead of anger, and even though I know I should probably be freaking out, I just need someone to help me. I just need someone to talk to because I don't know where my head's at and I don't know what to do about Rosé anymore.

So I nod, blinking back another sudden rush of heat at my eyes and whisper, "Yeah," as I glance away, somehow hoping Rosé hasn't just walked out on me, but rather she's standing there waiting for me. But she isn't there, and I bite down on my quivering bottom lip as my eyes return to Jisoo's. I feel lost. "I don't know what to do."

She seems to understand, because instead of questioning me here, and doing the normal Jisoo thing where she doesn't drop it until she's sure she wants to listen by poking the subject out of me, she just winds her arm around mine, offers me a small, soft smile and walks me down the hallway toward the hospital cafeteria.

I've never been as grateful as I am now for having Jisoo in your life.

***

"I've known for a while, you know."