Never Knew I Needed (Chaelisa)

Chapter 35

"Did you read it?" She murmurs, and I watch her lips move to form the words, suddenly entranced by the shape of them and the memory of how they felt pressed against mine. 

My vision flits up briefly, and I know her question is random, out of the blue and definitely nothing to do with what we were just talking about, but I already know what she's referring to and my throat's now thick and heavy.

Still, I find myself nodding, answering her question even though I'm not sure I should be. After all, now that I've read it, shouldn't I have said something?

"And?" She presses on, her voice breathless and I know there's no point in trying to hide how nervous I am because she's stroking the pad of her thumb over my pulse point in my wrist. Hell, I can barely hear her because the blood is rushing to my ears and I feel like this is a now or never moment, and she's staring at me like she's waiting for me to say something but I don't know what to say.

Am I supposed to tell her I love her? Because I've already done that.

Am I supposed to tell her that now I've read the journal, everything's fine? Because it's not.

Am I supposed to tell her that love just isn't enough for us and walk away? Because I can't.

I don't know what to say, and she's so close now that I can feel her body heat radiating through my clothing and burning onto my skin, and I know if she doesn't move away within the next two seconds I'm going to kiss her. It might seem like a good idea now, but I know that if I kiss her, I won't be able to stop and passion and my emotions will take over and the chances are, we will probably end up having slow, sweaty, romantic sex right here in Jisoo's brand new apartment.

Jisoo would not be best pleased.

"I..."

I try to get a word out; I try to get anything out, but the second my lips move, I feel the feather light touch of Rosé's fingertips stroking over the muscles in my neck, her hand making a path up to my jaw as the other one continues to grasp at my wrist, thumb still smoothing over my pulse slowly.

And really, it's my downfall because now she's lowering her head, her breath coming out in short pants against my nose and I can't prevent my eyes from falling shut at the sensation.

She smells of sweetness, of everything I've ever wanted and there's definitely a hint of coconut in there somewhere and it's taking over my senses and stopping me from making any type of clever decision. It's making all the words in my vocabulary just vanish and I hold back a moan when her head dips a little further and I feel the zing of energy zap from face to face as she closes the gap a little and lets her lips linger over mine. Ghosting over them. Teasing me.

"Lisa," her voice is strained, and I don't know how she can even think of names at the moment, but it's enough to make me open my eyes and find hers, right before me, bright, but somehow dark at the same time. I don't think I've ever seen her as beautiful as she is now. "I'm—"

"No," escapes my lips, because I know what's coming and I don't want her to apologize.

I really don't want her to because then she's acknowledging that we probably shouldn't be headed down this road and that means she might stop, and honestly, I don't know what I'd do if she were to pull away.

Shit. What if she pulls away?

My eyes widen at the possibility, at the likeliness of that happening and I suddenly feel this sharp thing slice through my chest, resembling panic but also feeling like desperation. It makes my heart pick up its pace, and I'm suddenly overwhelmed into thinking that this might be the last chance I have to kiss her.