"Can we leave yet?" I leant over, asking Adam.
"No." He said standing up. "We must dance."
"I don't want to dance."
"Too bad." He said grabbing my hand and dragging me onto the dance floor.
I didn't want to dance, I didn't want to be at this damn wedding.
"Can we go soon?" I asked while we danced.
"Soon." Adam said. "Oh shit."
"Oh shit what?"
"Matt."
"May I?" Matt interrupted.
I was about to say 'no you may not' but it was too late, Adam stepped back and Matt took his place.
Before I could do anything he slipped his arm around my waist and took my hand.
I stood straight and stiff, I didn't want any part of him touching me unnecessarily, but I could feel his hand pressed against my back. I closed my eye's, trying to ignore my feelings. It didn't help, I wanted to lay my head against his chest and I wanted him to wrap his arms around me, I could smell him and he smelt so good.
I was going to start crying again. I hated feeling like this, I wish I could just get over him.
Suddenly the music stopped and I pulled away, walking straight over to Adam.
"Can we please leave now?"
He nodded, standing up. "Sorry." He said softly.
I grabbed my bag, heading for the door, I wasn't saying goodbye to anyone, I just wanted to leave.
We got in the car, Adam driving.
"Shit Jess."
I wiped my face, I'd started crying as soon as we got in the car.
"It's okay." I told him. "I'll be fine."
The rest of the trip was in silence and when we arrived at my place, I got out, I didn't invite him in, I didn't want company right now.
I let myself in to my little apartment, having a shower and getting changed.
I went straight to bed, sleep was my only solace and I climbed in, realising I was still sleeping on my side of the bed, leaving Matt's side empty.
I rolled over, looking at the empty side of the bed, and that made me feel worse.
How long would it take me to get over this feeling, to get over Matt?
Everything I did, everything I saw reminded me of him, but then again twelve years was a long time.
I reached out, grabbing the spare pillow, pulling it to me and holding it tightly. I missed him, so much, so much it hurt, but seeing that he'd moved on so quickly hurt the most.
I layed there, hugging my pillow, wondering how long him and that Brooke had been together and I found myself blushing in embarrassment. He'd made a fool out of me and here I was laying in bed, crying over him.
As I layed there I made a promise to myself, I promised myself that I would never let a guy do this to me again.
I would never give anyone the opportunity to hurt me again.
Ever.
