You're Nothing But Trouble

Chapter 8 - This is Not What I Had in Mind

Jennie's POV

I'm alone in the world now. I received a call a while ago that Ella gave up her battle to cancer. I don't know how to accept the news. I just ... I just want to escape.

I was lost in my thoughts as my tears fall down unceasingly.

"Ms. Kim...?" I was looking at the window when I noticed someone entered my office door. Who else but Lisa.

I didn't utter a word. I just looked at her for a few seconds then went back staring outside the window. I was hoping she would come close and give me a tight hug...I so badly need one right now.

"Hey...J-jennie. What's wrong? Hey...come here." She came close when she noticed my state. She was a little hesitant but maybe she wanted to comfort me too.

She pulled me for a hug as she caressed my back.

"I'm here...you can tell me anything. Maybe you don't consider me as anyone important, not even a friend. Maybe I'm just a mere employee to you, but...I'm here, Jennie. And I care for you a lot..."

********

I am at my most vulnerable state right now and it feels comforting that I have Lisa with me. She's supposed to be a slave...but why does it's soothing to have her arms around me?

I wanted to act tough.
I wanted to remain bitchy.
I wanted to keep my composure.
I wanted to just be the usual shitty person I am.
But...isn't it that I'm really a weak one?
I clung to Lisa for dear life. My life that is falling apart in front of my very eyes because the only reason for my existence has been taken away from me.

Why so fast?
Why so young?
Why her? Why not me?
Why?!

After a while I feel Lisa pulling me up a little.

"Let's go sit you on the couch. It's more comfortable. You can tell me what happened if you'd like. If not, it's okay. I would still be here to keep you company. Even in silence."

I allowed her to guide me towards the couch at the side of my office room.

When I'm already seated, she sat beside me and...she slowly made me face her. She took the box of tissue at the top of my table and started wiping my tears.

"Your make-up is ruined. Nonetheless, you don't look less beautiful at all."

In this kind of situation, she managed to say something like that. I glared a little but she wasn't bothered. She continued slowly and carefully wiping my face.

"Lisa..."

"It's beyond office hours, Jennie. Maybe I can act as a friend now. Can I?"

She looked at my eyes intently that I have to look somewhere else because my heart started to beat in a rhythm that is so unfamiliar to me.

"Just go home. I can manage." Back to my authoritative voice.

"I know you're tough but I also know you have a soft heart on top of that. Don't push me away please. I am here. And...you don't really have to put any meaning to this if that's what you're afraid of. You can treat me coldly after this if you'd like to. But for now...let me care for you."

And I cried hard again. I was the one who threw myself at her and hugged her tightly as if she's the only person on earth that can keep me afloat now that I'm drowning with my loss and deep deep loneliness of losing the only person that mattered to me.