SVU: The One Shots

A Little Complication

She raked her fingers through the curly blonde locks of the woman she couldn't seem to stop kissing. Every time they were in the same room, all she wanted to do was kiss this blonde beauty. 

"Oh, my god," Amanda panted, as she shoved Olivia back slightly. Olivia was just as breathless as a smile grew on her swollen lips.

"Catch your breath, then I'm going to kiss you again," Olivia grinned as she leaned in again. Amanda placed her hands against Olivia's shoulders and stopped her from leaning in closer.

"We have class in the morning and I haven't done my homework. Can we pick this up tomorrow after our morning classes?" Amanda mused. Olivia settled back against her mattress and nodded.

"If you insist."

Amanda climbed off of Olivia's twin mattress, before reaching down and grabbing her t-shirt. Once it was back on, she leaned close and pecked Olivia's lips.

"I simply adore you, Olivia Benson," Amanda breathed, as she ran a thumb over Olivia's freckled cheek.

///

Over the next several weeks of their semester, Olivia and Amanda met up daily. They always tried to study, but most of the time, they made out and explored what was now a budding relationship.

Yet as things got more exciting, and they started to fall in love with each other, Olivia noticed that Amanda never wanted to go back to her apartment. They always spent time in Olivia's dorm, but Amanda kept insisting that she wasn't ready to be in a completely private space with her girlfriend yet.

"Where do you wanna go now?" Amanda mused, as she tucked her phone into the pocket of her jeans before leading Olivia through campus.

"I kinda want to go back to your place," Olivia replied, testing the waters. Amanda swallowed hard and dropped Olivia's hand.

"Can't we just go back to your dorm?"

"The dorm I share with another person? Tina is there all the time, so if we want to have private moments together, we can't do it in my room," Olivia frowned.

"Liv, I don't want to take you to my apartment. Isn't that okay? Why do you have to try to push me into doing this when I don't want to?" Amanda snapped.

Olivia turned to look at her as hurt masked her expression. She just couldn't seem to get super close to Amanda. It was like every step they made together, they ended up taking another step back. Amanda was hiding something, but Olivia didn't know what. 

"How about you go back to your apartment, and I'll go back to my dorm?"

"Olivia-"

"You are angry at me, so instead of completely blowing our relationship apart, maybe we should just call it a night," Olivia replied as calmly as she could. She was hurt, because she didn't know if Amanda was hiding something... or hiding her.

///

Amanda kept gazing across the large lecture hall, her eyes always landing on Olivia. She watched as Olivia adjusted her glasses, or twirled a thick brown curl around a finger. Since they went their separate ways many weeks ago, they hadn't talked. Since they sat on the opposite sides of the classrooms, they were never forced to work on projects together. They kept their distance, but it was hard to maintain that distance. They were in love with each other, even if things had fizzled out.

One night, nearly three months after they stopped talking, Olivia and Amanda ended up face to face. Olivia gnawed on the inside of her cheek as Amanda rocked back and forth on her red high-tops.

"Hi," Amanda breathed, her voice quaking even if the greeting was simple.

"Hey, Amanda," Olivia replied. They stood in silence for a few moments before Amanda reached out and gently touched Olivia's arm. Olivia glanced down before shaking Amanda's hand from her arm.

"Liv-"

"I love you, Amanda. You have been my first proper relationship since I came out, and I really hate how I feel you are embarrassed of me. Like, do your roommates not know that you are gay?"

"My roommates are my mother and little sister, and they know I'm gay. I came out when I was twelve. But that is not the problem, Liv!"

"Then what the fuck is your problem? Because if you are leading me on, then I want nothing to do with you!" Olivia snapped. She pushed past Amanda, but didn't get far before Amanda was grabbing her arm. This time she kept a tight grip, before turning her around so she could look directly into Olivia's tear filled brown eyes.

"Let me show you what the problem is... What complicates things. Okay?"

"No-"

"I love you too, Olivia! I can't let you just walk away and not try to get you back. So please, come with me."

///

When they got to Amanda's apartment, Olivia met Beth Anne and Kim. They were nice enough, but Olivia still didn't know what the issue was. But soon she found out.

Amanda walked from her room with a light purple bundle in her arms. Each step she was swaying slightly, and cooing gently. It didn't take long for Olivia to realize that a baby was in Amanda's arms.

"This is my baby girl, Logan Marie..." Amanda trailed off slowly. Olivia looked at the baby, before back at Amanda.

"H-how?" She breathed.

"My senior year, I started to doubt my sexuality. So a friend of mine said we could experiment together. We had sex, I realized I was still into girls, but the damage was already done. I've been hiding her, because I was too worried about what you would think."

"So you thought that I'd just stop loving you because you experimented and have a baby? Amanda, I wish you would have been open and honest with me. It would have made things easier," Olivia frowned. She stood slowly and took a step closer to Amanda.

"I guess we are done then, huh? Like for good?" Amanda questioned. Olivia looked at her for a moment before shaking her head.

Instead of walking out on something this special, Olivia gently pushed the blanket away from Logan's curly blonde hair before smiling down at the small girl.

"She's gorgeous, just like her momma," Olivia whispered.

"Liv-"

"I still love you, even if you hid this from me. Now, can we get back to dating? And I'd love to get to know Logan."

Amanda nodded as tears slipped down her cheeks.

"I'd love that."