𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙨 - 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜

𝕥𝕨𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕪-𝕠𝕟𝕖

"paige get up" pope yelled he was already changed in to clothes I had one eye open and stretched my arms up "what pope" I said my voice sounding croaky while pushing myself up I pointed my finger to my top on the chair which pope then threw gently in my face I slipped the top over my head and got out of bed and followed him into the kitchen "what's wrong why the hurry" I asked.

Until John b stomped into the room and start going through draws and leaving a mess everyone was asking him questions but I was trying to read the boy he looked distressed until he picked up a gun I went to him and grabbed his arm I looked up at him "whatever's happened John b you don't need the gun for" I whispered to him trying to keep calm "of course you would say that" he said pushing me away from him.

jj then tried to tackle him but John b wasn't having any of it he then went and shoved pope out of his way and pushed his way past kiara I was hurt me, me and John b always had a way of calming each other but I guess time had changed I followed him leaving the others in the room "John b what the hell are you doing" I said while John b got on his bikes "ward knows about the gold he killed my dad" I stopped in my track my mouth open after what u just heard while John b just drove off "no that can't be right" I whisper I know ward really well he's no killer i thought to myself I trust him.

I just turned on my feet and walked past the three who just stood there and did nothing I grabbed my bag and shoved everything in it and walked past the kitchen where the three stood and went to leave "where are you going!" Jj yelled I just ignored him and went out the patio door leaving them.

Footsteps followed after me "hey!" The boy said then pulling on my arm spinning me around I just took a quick glance at the boy and then looked to the floor "you're just going to walk out on us after that" he questioned sounding disappointed "get of of me" I said pushing his arm of my wrist which he had grabbed.

"Why do you do this for?" He questioned "do what Jj" I said in a snappy tone "walk out on people when things get tough" I looked at the boy is disbelief I looked at the boy scanning his face "you're unbelievable. walk out? Really jj" I said "what are you doing now then" he asked making me second guess myself "going to get an answer" I said walking away from him "an answer for what ward killing John b's dad" he yelled I tuned back around and pushed the boy in his chest "shut up" i said "how can you defend that man" he asked "I don't know Jj you really think ward Cameron is a murder" he looked at me his eyes changing "wow paige"

I knew I want going to get anywhere so I just walked away. He didn't follow me and I walked home. I felt as though I could hit someone plus cry at the same time.

I went to the Cameron's house banging on the door nobody answered I smacked the door hard "open up please" I begged I held my hand to the door until someone opened it "what do you want it's late" Rafe answered "is ward here" I asked softly "look paige I get it John b's you're friend but my dad doesn't need you questioning him JOHN B stabbed my dad paige" Rafe said raising his voice "I don't believe you Rafe" I said my voice breaking "I can fucking prove it" he grabbed my wrist "get off of me" I cried I finally got out of his grasp "fuck you and your dad Rafe"
I hated to say that out loud about my best friends day Layla Cameron but after seeing Rafe reaction I believe it.

I got home and ran up to my room "where have you been" my mother asked "where do you think mam" I yelled I knew she knew where I had been it's not as though I was going to be anywhere else "what's wrong hunny" she asked "what do you mean what's wrong I'm fine" I said sighing afterwards "you just look angry" I sat on my bed "I'm fine mam honestly just a stressful day" I said trying to make her forget about it "want to talk about it?" She asked "no it's okay Mam it is only something silly" I said "ok ok always here if you need someone to talk to though okay" she said sincerely "I know mam" she got up off my bed "have you ate today?" She questioned "yes" i replied "ok good"

My dog came and sat on my bed next to me I hugged it as it bring me comfort.

I just looked up at my ceiling trying to find answers i'm not good with words nor with my actions, i was never good at showing effort
i am shy around new people and i'm scared outside of my comfort zone it is so hard for me to express emotion let alone express my love, so i may not be able so say it or act like i love someone. i may show less effort than most
but you can always count on me.

do I make love hard?