My sins (on hold)

The realization

ODETTE'S POV:

I perched on the edge of Caden's bed while I watched him angrily paced a line through the rug. 

I sighed, fed up with his silence. "Can I ask why you're so angry? Did you not want them to share their stories with me? Did you want to keep lying to me?"

Caden stopped his pacing and faced me with a straightened back, sensing my frustration, "of course not, Odette. I don't want secrets between us."

His face scrunched up in pain before he turned away from me again. I waited a few seconds while listening to his heavy breaths. The scent of his pain tainted the air around us. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and relieve him from some of it.

I gritted my teeth and closed my fists, tightly enough for feel the pricks of my nails digging into the flesh of my palms. I held my ground. I was pissed. 

He claims that I'm his mate and his voice had been filled with innocent hope. He made it clear that this connection was rare and beautiful. How can he lie to his mate? 

I now understand there were private stories behind my intrusive questions. The root of my questions were concern. My intentions were not to pry into anyone's life. Couldn't he have at least reassured me they weren't dying? Or he could expressed how they were a different species, but they can tell me their story when they feel comfortable.

It's not that fucking hard to communicate. I purses my lips, struck with the realization that I wasn't communicating with Caden by keeping these thoughts to myself. I unclenched my fists to rub my hands down my face from exhaustion and finally gave in. I guess I'm just too weak for Caden.

I swiftly stood and wrapped myself around his back, offering him my warm, "what's wrong, Caden?" 

He blew out a shaky breath, "I didn't want to lie to you. Caspian hasn't told anyone that story other than us. I'm just worried about him."

"I'm sure he wouldn't have told me it unless he wanted too. You know you can go check on Caspian. You've barely left my side since I arrived from the hotel. No one here is going to attack me. You don't have to play guard dog."

He pulled himself out of my loose trio and turned around to grab my shoulders, holding me in place. His intense state forced my gaze downwards in an attempt to avoid his radiant eyes. 

He bent to lock eyes with me again. I sucked in a breath, unsure what he was going to say. What if he didn't want me as a mate anymore? What if he thinks I'm pushing him away? What if he figured out that he only wants them for himself? What if he doesn't want me to join the pack anymore? 

That's when I realized that I wanted to join the pack. I was scared of this mysterious pack at first. Now, I felt safe with them. They had protected me. They've put their trust in me. I cared for them.

Caden smiled softly at me as if he knew what was going on in my mind. He tucked one of my stray curls behind my ear before continuing, "I know you're safe here. I'm just fucking selfish and want to be around you." He paused to glance away before meeting my eyes again hesitantly, "I would like to check on Caspian if that's okay? I'll only be gone for a few minutes."

I laughed lightly, hoping to defuse the tension in the air, "you don't need my permission to see your own pack mate. Go ahead. Let me know how he is?"

Caden grinned, "deal. I'll be back in a bit, don't miss me too much."

He grabbed my face and brought my forehead to his lips. I closed my eyes and bathed in the warmed spreading throughout my body that proved he was my mate before he pulled away. With one last look at me, he gave me a thankful look and pulled the door closed behind him.