i picked up the basket
of dirty laundry
and dropped to my knees
sunk my face into the soiled cloth
please
i turned my tablet on
opened the puzzle apps
before i could test my brain
a black screen appeared
i opened my contacts
scrolled through the endless names
typed "hey, want to hang out?"
but never clicked send
something
i cut my hair
hoping i'll feel like
a brand new person
but when i looked the mirror
i saw the same broken human
why am i not feeling better
why
why
i showed up to groups
with my head down
cognitive distortion
emotion regulation
my mind knows
but my heart still hurts
it still hurts
how do i make it all stop
how
how
i broke down
screamed
i tried i tried
but it was never enough
so please
end my pain
before i end others
