For the Taking ✅

61 • Shame

Okay its safe now to those of you who skipped last chapter lol.

Seraphina POV

We didn't leave the bedroom that night, at least I hadn't. Siris was adamant on getting us food, he was more concerned with me getting food than anything else. Especially, after my stomach let out an ungodly loud rumble.

I swore Siris thought I was starving.

He left the bedroom after cleaning us both up and I found myself staring in the bathroom mirror. My eyes had long faded back to their natural brown color. That didn't stop me from pulling lightly at my skin like the glowing gold irises would come back. They did not.

I didn't know how to feel about this part of me. After hurting Siris with that part of me I was scared to unleash it in any way even by mistake. I had done it once what was to say it wouldn't happen again. I feared that if I allowed it even out a sliver it would be too much, that I'd be too much to control. I could harm some one and I'd hate myself if I hurt anyone because I couldn't get a grip on myself. 

When I imagined the thought of hurting Siris, my heart ruptured. It physically ached at the sheer possibility. It was as possible as being stroke by lightening, a rarity but not an uncertainty.

I never expected that I'd so quickly hate the very part of me that I craved more than anything until I met Siris. I had only ever focused on being able to shift, that I never thought to think about the potential that it might have been just as pleasing to not reveal that part of me.

Maybe it was closed off for a reason and I had some how unleashed some evil on the world.

No.

I couldn't think like that. I'd learn to get it under control. I'd have to. I couldn't afford to make mistakes now. There was too much at stake. There would soon be people relying on me at least I imagined Siris saw it that way.

I didn't realize my fingers trembled until he voice neared.

"Hey, I got you a-" He paused finding me frowning at myself in the mirror and my quivering hands. I quickly pulled my hands from my face tucking them into the pockets of the robe I found in his closet. He cocked his head to the side looking me over concern in every feature. "Everything alright?"

I tucked my hair behind me ears desperate to find anything natural to do with my hands. It was a mistake. My fingers gave me away and he saw it as clear as day.

Siris put the twin bowls of soup down on the bathroom counter gracefully grabbing my hands as I tried to escape from the bathroom. "You weren't shaking when I left." He could feel my trembling hands in his and he knitted his brows scanning my face for an answer. An answer I was too ashamed to admit to.

I couldn't admit to. I wouldn't admit to. I didn't want to admit to. I-

Admitting that completing the mating bond might have been a mistake. What mate would want to hear such a thing from their other half? But it might very well be a mistake. I couldn't shake off the feeling that we might have awaken something that was meant to stay dormant.

I should have just accepted the inevitable.

"What happened, Phina?" My name on his lips made me center my eyes on his. Concern lingered in his mossy green eyes.