Finding Jaime

Chapter 63

Pete POV

Jaime's imaging showed that so far, there didn't seem to be any secondary tumour. There were no metastases. The doctor told us that his suicide attempt had been a blessing in disguise because the injury he'd acquired from it had facilitated early diagnosis since he'd had MRIs relatively frequently lately.

"I would not, however, suggest that for future treatments, alright?" The doctor joked. Jaime smirked at him.

The treatment plan was made. Jaime would have six months of chemotherapy. The first month was going to be intensive. He'd be getting treatment every two days and would stay in the hospital for the duration. At the end of a month, he'd go down to twice a week and then once a week for the remaining four months. He'd be getting scans and blood tests weekly throughout.

The oncologist explained what Jaime could expect from treatment. He was not happy. Who could blame him.

He became sullen the day the oncologist explained the treatment and even Marvel couldn't cheer him up. Not for lack of trying though.

The next day, Jaime was taken for surgery to place a central line which is where he'd get the chemo. The day after that, they started the chemo. Jaime watched his nurse hook up the I.V. bag of literal poison. He didn't say much but I saw a determination in his eyes.  I hoped he would stay as determined when the treatments started having side effects.

Jaime and I played chess while he had his chemo. He's pretty good. After that, he lay back and read a book he'd asked me to bring.

"I dunno," Jaime said. "I don't feel anything. I mean, it feels weird and a bit cold going in here."

He pointed at his chest.

"But it's not, like, uncomfortable. And I feel fine," he grinned.

An hour later he was leaning over the toilet in his attached washroom.  I knelt beside him rubbing his back.  When he seemed to be done, he asked me to help him back to bed. He was shaky from throwing up.

He lay back on his pillow and covered his eyes with his arm.

"I stand corrected," he said. "I feel like shit."

Six more months of this.

He fell asleep shortly thereafter and was still asleep when Meagan arrived with the kids.

I told Marvel not to wake Jaime up.

"How did it go?" Meagan asked, sitting down and pulling Marvel into her lap. The boys took up their corners and were playing on their Switches. They'd wait to see if Jaime woke up before Meagan had to take them home.

"He was very confident as he was having the chemo. Said he felt fine. An hour later, he was praying to the porcelain gods and needed my help to get back to bed," I shrugged. We knew the side effects. We knew he'd feel shaky after throwing up. I didn't like it, but I knew it was to be expected.

We sat and talked quietly while Jaime slept. About a half hour later, he started groaning and then sat up, his hand on his mouth. I grabbed the basin in his bedside table and handed it to him. He threw up into it.

"Daddy, Jaime has a sick?" Marvel asked.

"Yes, baby. Jaime has a sick. And he has to take medicine that also upsets his tummy and makes him have a sick."

"Why?" Marvel asked.

"Because it's very strong medicine to make his boo boo go bye bye," I said. Jaime's surgical scar from the biopsy was no longer covered with gauze bandages and his hair has just started growing back in around where they'd shaved his head to get at the site.

"Jaime's medicine makes him have a sick? That not good medicine. Jaime should stop taking it."

I wish it was that simple.

"I can't, Mar," Jaime said. "It'll make sure the boo boo stays away."

"But it makes you have a sick," Marvel said.

"I know. But it'll make me better. Eventually," Jaime said.

Meagan took the kids home a little later and Jaime lay back and fell asleep. I watched a little TV until I was tired enough to go to sleep.

Jaime slept through the night but when breakfast came in the morning, he didn't want to eat anything.

"I can't," he said. "I feel like puking."

I spoke to a nurse who said she could bring him an anti-nausea medication.

Jaime lay in his bed staying curled up and watching TV.  He didn't have the energy for much more.

There was a knock on the door and Jaime looked up. Brendon and Sarah were standing in the doorway. 

"Hey, Jaime. You up for visitors?"

"Not really, but you're here so come in," Jaime said. He wasn't being rude. His tone was not angry. More resigned, maybe.

Brendon and Sarah stayed for a couple of hours.  Brendon showed Jaime some videos from our tour together, some of the pranks we pulled on each other, and probably one of my favourite videos - The Drunk History of Fall Out Boy as told by Brendon Urie. In retrospect, it was a very bad idea, and we had no idea how close we came to having a very bad outcome for Brendon. But the video lives on, and it's hilarious.

It was nice to see Jaime smile and laugh. He had a lot of very rough days ahead of him, I wanted him to laugh as much as he could, so maybe the bad days wouldn't be so bad. 

Jaime started tiring, so Brendon and Sarah said good night and left.  Meagan and the kids came to visit and have dinner with us. Jaime picked at his dinner but managed a few bites. I saw Meagan worry. It showed in her eyes. I smiled at her and she managed a smile back.  Saint and Bronx told Jaime about the activities they'd been doing as summer was drawing to a close.  It reminded me then, we had to figure out what to do about school for Jaime. He wouldn't be out of the hospital when school started, and probably wouldn't be able to go for the first semester, anyway. He'd still be getting chemo twice a week, and by the time he was down to once a week, I didn't think he'd have the energy to go full-time. I figured we had two choices. He could take this year off, and I'd have to figure out how to do that. I'd speak to his previous school. Or, he could go online.  But I was definitely letting Jaime make the decision. And, if he changes his mind partway through the year? That's okay. This is going to be a tough year for Jaime. I want to let him have as much control over some of the things in his life. Within reason.

Jaime fell asleep before Meagan got the kids ready to go. She looked over at him sadly, kissed his forehead, and, giving me a kiss, got the kids together and left.