Finding Jaime

Chapter 102

Jaime POV

"Happy Birthday, Dear Jaime, Happy Birthday to you!!!!"

I smiled as friends, acquaintances and family sang 'Happy Birthday'.

"Well, kiddo," Dad said, coming up to me. "Sixteen. Happy birthday."

Dad hugged me and I hugged him back. I looked around the room. There were so many people here that a year ago, I wouldn't have known. I would never have thought I'd meet some of the people I'd met through Dad. But it wasn't who I could meet that was what mattered. It was that outside of what the media showed, they were just... people. Dad has his moments, and his annoyances. But he's also a dad trying to make sure my siblings and I grow up to be productive members of society. Dad, and Mom, aren't pushing any of us towards anything specific. They both encourage us to follow our passions. But we're not allowed to neglect our schoolwork just because it might be 'boring'. Even though I'm taking this year off, and just doing a couple of credits.

Dad had thrown me a 16th birthday party at the house. Most of the people there were his friends and colleagues and their kids. I didn't really have any friends to invite. Emmanuel was dead, Frank and Justin could take a long walk off a short pier as far as I was concerned.

But I had invited Taylor and a couple of guys from the football team.

After Emmanuel's funeral, Dad had been all over me about the football team and how come I didn't play anymore and so on. But I'd gotten back in touch with Taylor and was glad I had. He was someone I should never have dumped when my mom got sick. But I'd been so inside my head, I hadn't thought about anyone.

At some point in the evening, I saw Dad talking to a girl I didn't recognize. She looked like she was maybe 12 or 13. There was a tall man with her who I also didn't recognize. Dad's head raised and he looked around until his eyes met mine. He pointed me out and from his eyes I wish I'd had time to run. The girl came up to me.

"You're Jaime, right?" She said. I nodded. Her eyes were sad. She held out her hand and I went to shake it, thinking that was odd. Until I saw what she was holding. It was a small, green dragon figurine. I took it and looked in her eyes. Tears had filled her eyes.

"Ethan wanted you to have that. He wants you to keep fighting."

"Is he... did he?" I stammered, looking into her eyes.

"No. Not yet. But soon," she said.

I closed my eyes and clutched the dragon in my hand. I could feel tears.

"I never got a chance to thank you," the girl said. "You texted your dad and he gave me and my friend the best experience at the concert. So, thank you."

"You're Ashley?" I said. "Ethan's sister?"

She nodded.

"He wouldn't stop talking about you," she smiled. "He saved every Snapchat you sent."

I smiled sadly. I hadn't kept all of them, but I'd kept a few.

"I'm so sorry, Ashley. Is he at home?"

"No. My parents, they want him in the hospital. He's at Children's."

I nodded.

"I have to go,' Ashley said. "We don't want to spend too much time away from him, but he asked me to bring you that. Happy birthday," Ashley said. I asked her if I could give her a hug and she said yes. She started crying as soon as I wrapped her in my arms. I felt tears running down my face, too.

"I'm going to try and come to see him," I said. "Tomorrow."

Ashley nodded and went back to the man's she'd come with, who I presumed was her dad. I looked at the little toy in my hand. Ethan had said he pictured the chemo as Excalibur and himself as a knight. The dragon was his cancer. He was telling me the dragon won.  I went into the house and into the laundry room where no one else was. I broke down and cried. It wasn't fair. Ethan's only nine. He had his whole life a head of him.

"Jaime?" Mom said, coming into the laundry room. "Here you are. What are you doing in here? What's the matter?"

She rushed over, seeing my tears.

I showed her the dragon figurine. She looked at it quizzically.

"Ashley, Ethan's sister, Ethan, the nine year old from chemo? She brought it," I said. "Ethan's dying."

"Oh no. Oh Jaime. I'm so sorry, honey."

I looked down at the figurine in my hand. I studied it. It was a plastic toy. It must have come from a play set. Somewhere there was probably a knight with a sword and a horse. I hoped, despite the inevitable, they were with Ethan

"I want to go see him," I said.

"Okay. Well, tonight isn't a good time," Mom said.

"Tomorrow. I want to go see him tomorrow,"

Mom nodded. She'd make it happen.

We sat in the laundry room for a little while. Mom held me and let me grieve a little. I cried a bit, too. Dad came looking for me and found us.

"Hey," he said. "There's the birthday boy. I've been looking for you."

"I'm right here," I mumbled.

"What's going on?" Dad asked. Mom filled him in.

"I wondered what that was about. I'm sorry, Jaime," Dad said.

I shrugged. What can I do about any of it? I can't do anything. I can't make Ethan's cancer go away. I can't cure him. I can't do anything.

"It feels kind of stupid to go back out there to celebrate my birthday when there's a nine year old lying in a hospital bed, dying from a stupid disease,"

Mom and Dad don't say anything. What were they going to say? Suck it up? Pretend it isn't happening? We sat in the laundry room for a little while longer. Joe came by and poked his head into the laundry room, too.

"Oh, hey guys. Was wondering where you'd gotten to. What's wrong?" He asked as he saw our faces. "Jaime, you're okay, right? He's not sick again, is he?"

Dad shook his head.

"Jaime just got some bad news about a kid he met in chemo. The one whose sister we brought backstage at our second LA show?"

"Oh. I'm sorry, Jaime," Joe said.

"Jaime, I know you're not in the mood so much anymore, but come outside, say thank you to everyone, have a piece of cake and then if you want, you can go upstairs," Dad said. I nodded. I knew that I had to continue on living. I owed it to myself. I owed it to Marvel, Saint and Bronx. I owed it to Mom and Dad and I owed it to myself. I'd fought hard to beat it. But most importantly, I owed it to Ethan.

I went back outside with Mom and Dad, Joe following behind. I took the microphone from the DJ and said a little piece about how much I appreciated everyone coming to celebrate my birthday, how meeting so many people through Dad had been surreal and how much we all appreciated their support when I was sick.

When I was done, I got off the stage Dad had had set up in the back yard, and found a corner where I could sit and just be.

I wanted to go for a run.

But I'd spent so much time running. Maybe it was time for me to stop running and face things I can't change, but that doesn't mean I can't face them. Ethan's going to die, and I can't do anything about that. But I can go visit, say goodbye.  I tried to keep my mom alive by not letting her tell me about my dad. I'd wasted so much time I could have had to say goodbye to her. I wouldn't let Ethan go without saying goodbye.