Finding Jaime

Chapter 91

Jaime POV
Ashlee walked into the room with Saint, Bronx and Marvel. I frowned at her. Now what did she want. Last time she came to visit me in the hospital. I had a seizure.

"Are you trying to off me or something?" I said, frowning and crossing my arms.

"Jaime!" Mom said. I shot her a look.

"Jaime, I really want to apologize. I've wanted to apologize since the first day when I met you and was incredibly unfair to you. I prejudged you for no reason. I didn't even give myself a chance to really get to know you before I decided what type of person you'd be. But your brothers and sister, and your dad, and Meagan, have all told me just how wrong I was to judge you so harshly."

I didn't say anything but continued to glare at her with my arms crossed. I wasn't sure I wanted to forgive her.  She knew nothing about me and had already decided that I was trouble and a danger to "her" sons. Dad had given me the benefit of the doubt, all while knowing that both of us were dealing with a huge change. I'd just lost my mom and found out who my dad was. I was scared, confused and, yeah, angry. Angry at my mom for dying. Angry at her for never telling me who my dad was. And angry that, I realized later with my shrink, I'd had a family this whole time and I'd never known. I didn't know, really, how much Mom - Tanya - had known about Dad's life after she broke up with him. I mean, she knew he'd gotten famous, obviously. But I don't know, and I'll never know, how much she followed up on his life after.

"Jaime," Dad said. "Do you have anything to say?"

"No," I said simply. "Not really. Nothing that won't probably get me grounded."

"Jaime, please," Ashlee said. "I got us off on the wrong foot. I take full responsibility for that."

"Oh, do you?" I said, barely able to hold the vitriol back. "You take 'full responsibility'?  Where were you when I was lost in the hills?  Where were you when I fell into a canyon and broke my leg?  Where were you when I was in the hospital recovering from said fall into a canyon?  You didn't even try apologizing between then and that one other time you came to the hospital. And that was only because I'd just had a tumor removed from my brain. I can't help but think maybe you were hoping the tumor would take care of your 'little problem'."

Ashlee looked taken aback. And I didn't care. Dad didn't look terribly impressed. Bronx and Saint were looking between each other and Mom was trying to get them and Marvel out of the dressing room.

"Jaime," Dad said in a warning tone.

"What, Dad?" I asked, turning to him. "Should I be nice to someone who so far has led to one or another disaster in my life?"

"That's not fair," Ashlee said. "I'm not responsible for all the bad things in your life, Jaime."

"Wow. You think pretty highly of yourself if you think I meant you've been a disaster throughout my life.  No. You've just been a disaster since I met you."

Ashlee frowned. So did Dad.

"First day I met you, I nearly died. Second time, I had a seizure. Can't wait to see what today's outcome is going to be," I frowned.

"Jaime, those are coincidences and you know that. You can't blame Ashlee for those," Dad said.

"No?" I said. "I can't blame her for judging me so harshly, that thinking I was going to, I don't know, murder you all in your sleep or something, so I went for a run and got lost?  That wasn't her?"

"Well, okay, that, sort of, yeah. I accept that was on me. And that's the first thing I wanted to apologize for. That I didn't give you a chance.  That I didn't take the time and opportunity to get to know you. But I have your brothers to consider, too. And suddenly they were getting an older brother who ..."

"Just stop," I said. "You negated your apology as soon as you said 'but'.  You had no intention of giving me a chance. You said several times that you wanted Bronx to go home with you that same day. You'd made up your mind about me before you even walked into the house. You knew only that my mom was an old girlfriend and that I grew up in Santa Monica. And you decided I wasn't safe around 'your' kids."

I emphasized the "your" for effect. As if to show that she didn't really trust Dad either.

"Jaime," Dad said in a warning tone.

"No, Pete," Ashlee said. "He's right. I did come over that day already deciding your son was bad news. You'd told me how you initially met. I know the area Santa Monica High is in and it's catchment. I did go in with a biased attitude that coming from that area of Santa Monica, he was going to be a troublemaker. And I am really sorry. I'm sorry I angered you and sent you running. I'm sorry that led to... well, everything that happened then.  I won't, however, take the blame for your seizure a couple of months ago."

"It was only because you made me mad that I had it. But yeah, I guess that one coulda happened anyway," I admitted.

Ashlee smiled a little. I frowned. That wasn't a concession. I wasn't planning on forgiving her.

I know my friends and I didn't always make the best decisions. And yeah, I got into some trouble sometimes. But until the busted leg, I never got caught by the police (came close a couple of times, though). But I'd never intentionally hurt anyone. And most of the time I thought Frank's plans were stupid. But Frank got us fed, and we could usually make a few bucks selling stuff he'd... acquired during our exploits. And he always had money for stuff if we didn't. I never asked where he got all his money from, but I did know he didn't have a job, like, flipping burgers or something.

"So, can we start over? Try again?" Ashlee said.

"My mom, Tanya, had a saying," I said to Ashlee. "You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Now, if you'll excuse me, I had chemo today and it's decided I'm not done puking."

I turned and ran to the washrooms again and emptied the contents of my stomach into the toilet. I sat back against the wall and sighed. I hated this. My whole body hurt. I don't know how much more of this I can take.