Finding Jaime

Chapter 69

"Jaime, how are you doing?" Dr. Jensen asked as we went into his office to get Jaime's latest results.

"I'm tired and I feel like puking," he responded.

Dr. Jensen nodded. If he was insulted by Jaime's answer and tone he didn't let on. I had no doubt he dealt with a lot of angry teenagers and scared children.

"I know it sucks. It's normal, but it sucks," Dr. Jensen said.

"Can we just get the results so I can go poison myself for an hour and then go home and puke and sleep it off?" Jaime said. Today was not a good day.

The doctor smirked. He pulled out Jaime's file and opened it up.

"Well, based on the recent scans and blood work, as much as this all sucks, it's doing the job it's meant to. Your blood work is good. Everything is in range for what we're dealing with and we're seeing no metastasis, no new tumour growth and no reoccurrence of the initial tumour."

"That's good news," I said.

"Does it mean I can stop these treatments?" Jaime asked, slumped in the chair with his head back and his eyes closed.

"No. Not now. We may reassess in a month or two, but for now, we're going to stick to the original plan."

Jaime groaned.

"Can we go now?" Jaime asked.

"I'll see you next week. Come in on Friday for your scans, I should have them by Thursday," Dr. Jansen said.

Jaime got up and walked towards the door. I looked at the doctor apologetically. He nodded. Jaime wasn't the first teenager he'd treated.

"His attitude, if it makes you feel any better, is completely normal," Dr. Jansen said to me.

"I'm sure. I don't like it, but how do I tell him to check his attitude when he's fighting for his life?"

"Don't be afraid to treat him the same as before. He's got a right to be scared and angry. But he still has to be a functional human. He may be acting out because he's scared," the doctor suggested.

"I know he's scared. We're trying to keep his attitude in check, but he also needs to let his feelings out. Which we're trying to encourage in a healthy way."

"How has he been at home with you, your wife, his siblings?"

"A little shorter with everyone than before, but not too bad, really. He's at his best with his sister."

"Dad!" Jaime called from the reception area. "Can we go get this over with?"

"But he's not in the best of moods today. It hasn't been a good day."

"He's going to have good and bad days, I'm sure you know."

"Oh yeah. Today is not a good day. It's not the worst we've seen, but it's not a good day."

The doctor nodded and Jaime stuck his head back in the office.

"Dad, seriously, I'd like to get the poisoning over with so I can go home and puke up everything I've managed to eat in the last two days."

I shrugged at the doctor and got up. I sighed and walked with Jaime to his appointment.

Once he was settled in the chair in the clinic, he put his headphones on and turned on the music on his phone. I don't exist for the hour he's getting chemo, but I'm not allowed to leave, either.

I continued making arrangements for Jaime's treatments along our tour route. I was glad he'd be down to once a week treatments in just another two weeks, and then, he'd have one treatment here in L.A. before we left on tour. I couldn't tell if he was excited about it or not. Jaime's default seemed to be apathy at this point.

At the end of an hour, Jaime was unhooked and we headed to the car, once again being reminded to keep an eye out for fever.

I got Jaime home before the nausea took over. He made it to the main floor bathroom before he got sick. He kept retching and vomiting. More than I remembered after any other treatment.

"Dad," Jaime croaked out. "I don't think I can make it upstairs."

"Want to stay down here?"

His eyes closed and his head back, Jaime shook his head.

"I want to go to bed, but I don't have the strength," he was interrupted by another round of vomiting.

"I'll carry you," I said, scooping my son up in my arms he leaned his head on my shoulder and his left arm around my shoulders.

Meagan saw us as I made my way to the stairs. The look on her face said it all. She was worried about Jaime.

I lay my son on his bed and started pulling up the covers.

"No, I'm too hot," he said.  I felt his forehead. He didn't feel warm. Maybe a bit warmer than normal, but not concerning. I'd check on him more often, in case a fever was brewing.

I went back downstairs and was met by Meagan standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Pete, what happened?" She asked. "He's never been that weak after a treatment."

"I know. Today's not a great day. He'll sleep it off and hopefully be better tomorrow."

Meagan looked up the stairs and shook her head. Marvel came running out of the living room.

"Mama! We playing! Daddy!  Where's Jaime?"

"Jaime's in bed. He's not feeling very well today. We'll let him nap, and maybe he'll come down after dinner."

Marvel smiled and went back to playing.

The boys were home from school at their usual time and were quiet when they came in.

"Jaime sleeping?" Bronx asked as he pulled his homework out on the kitchen island.

"Yeah," I said, getting a snack ready for the boys and Marvel. 

Saint frowned but didn't say anything. He was still grappling with this.

I went to check on Jaime before we sat down for dinner. He felt a little warmer and was shivering. I covered him with his blankets and told him I'd check in on him after dinner. He was still deeply asleep and I don't think he actually heard me, but I said it anyway.

The five of us ate a quiet dinner. After we were done, Meagan made Jaime a plate in case he woke up and wanted something, and we cleaned up.  It was close to Marvel's bedtime and Meagan said she'd check on Jaime if I gave Marvel a bath and read her a story. I missed spending time with my youngest and so I agreed.

Marvel was quiet in the bath and it went a lot quicker than usual. I got her dried off, dressed her in her cozy pyjamas and tucked her into bed.

"What story do you want tonight?" I asked her. She picked up a book that she'd put on her bed.

"This one," she said. I read the title. 'What About Me?'  It was a book for kids who had a sibling going through cancer treatment.

"Where did you get this?" I asked, looking through the book.

"Uncle Joe gived it to me," she said. "He read it and it told me that even though Jaime is sick and you spend a lot of time away with Jaime at the hopital and doctor, that you still love us all, but right now you hafta love Jaime a bit more," she said.

"It's not that I love Jaime more than any of you, but yeah. I do need to spend a bit more time with him while he's fighting his cancer," I said, hugging my tiny daughter.

I read the story to Marvel and as I was leaving her room, Meagan came out of Jaime's. She looked worried. Very worried.